emily's adventures

Once Foggy

2012-02-08T18:26:00.000-08:00

*Play this while your read:

The fog is lifting and the light of the morning sun is slowly burning away the density of the sadness that has kept me from seeing. Seeing and the need to be seen has been stunted by the thickness of the clouds that had settled around my soul for too long. Another winter season, another fog-laden soul search, another journey of truth seeking and truth telling. From an idea Jill Briscoe so eloquently coined, the steps of my soul have been perched upon for a great deal of important time and God has seen it fit to stretch out the sides. My legs sat still, keeping me from putting one foot in front of the other.

It was the year the locusts came, to stanch whatever morsels of joy, peace, or significance I might have felt. They left my heart's field for want of a truth seed sower and preacher of proper nourishment. Each remaining stubble of grass stood alone, clinging in perseverance to the sparse drops of truth water, sucking the necessary moisture, one measly drop at a time. In the darkness it seemed impossible that life was surviving, let along growing, as the clouds and surrounding fog settled in a little deeper. I prayed for mercy, trust, strength, and truth. I prayed for hope.

As the sun is rising to brilliance once again, reality is declaring there has been a farmer to my soul's field all along. He has not been asleep or wasting away the day while the fog had it's way. He's been lingering just on the other side of my foggy sight-line, offering those significant drops of truth water, occasionally placing a new seed of His grace and mercy amidst the sparse blades of grass still standing. His voice called out the locusts and their lies, though in the muted movement of the wind and in unrecognizable tones. He asked me to learn to recognize His voice in ways I had not before. He was offering rest under the blanket of the fog, if only I let go. Surrendering just seemed so hard despite its necessity.

The verse I hear as the sun and moon come in clearly once more is lifted by the clouds and rains new life on my soul's field. First starting in a whisper, massaging my heart from self-condemnation to grace in Christ. It is beginning to grow louder, can you hear it? It is meant to consume. "What can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus."

Jesus and I have played hide and seek in that intensely deep fog. But the redemption and the grace received have thus far been worth it. If Christ is Lord, as I believe Him to be, it has been a journey to remember whom is on the throne and to live in the inheritance I have as the beloved.

Romans 8:1
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

John 4:14
But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

Mark 8:35
If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.

1 Corinthians 8:6
But we know that there is only one God, the Father, who created everything, and we live for him. And there is only one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom God made everything and through whom we have been give life.

Fear Not

2012-01-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

2011 was a difficult year. If you frequent the stories of my life captured, it is not a surprise that I say as much. My 20's have generally been a challenging and exciting mixture of pure joy and deep, sometimes painful, change. I had been warned that my 20's were going to be that kind of season and have heard I'm not the only one who uses these words to explain this decade of life. But as I've reflected on 2011, I've noticed some of my bravery got lost, made a few wrong turns, and my confidence changed how it wanted to operate, moving from a shout to a whisper. I think in a good way....

My dad often recounts a story he remembers of me as a child. As a sentimental kind of guy who finds great joy in his girls, you should know I've heard this story an incredible amount of times... :)

He starts the story letting us all know that I was rather fearless as a child and acknowledges my desire to test the limits at any given moment in those days. So far, you're not surprised if you know me at all. I was very fond of the climbing toy that was our 1984 Chevy Caprice Classic station wagon in cool blue. As a wee little lass, about 4 or 5, I used to make sure the back swinging trunk door to the wagon was locked, used my bony little knee for leverage, and climbed up the back of that beauty, getting myself to the roof. Once I made my way to the top, I'd quickly shuffle on all fours to the main event at the edge of the front windshield. I'd shift my little self and sit right down on the roof, catapulting my booty down the windshield as if it were my very own smooth sailing slide. This would be repeated until the neighbor called my parents, I'm sure shaming them for not keeping the closest eye on their youngest trouble maker. Poor things had their hands full with me as a kid!

Truth told, we had a normal slide on the jungle gym in the backyard, but I needed a bigger adventure! Certainly there was no fear - not even getting into trouble for the umpteenth time.

Over the years, like most of us, my feisty self has gone a little soft. The more I run into rejection, failure, conflict, and pain, the more fear desires to win out. It creeps in through the little lies Satan speaks in shrouded tones. It finds the insecurities that linger and makes them bigger than they need to be. Fear identifies the ways I am not experiencing God and replaces His truth with my ever shifting emotions in my relationship with Him. Fear takes away my bravery, stealing the confidence I know I can have in Christ.

2011 was littered with moments of fear as ministry was labeled failure when God still opened my eyes to some of it's successes. Fear of the future stared me down as unemployment lingered and vocational shifts ensued. Fear captured my heart when grieving life's pains and in anticipating yet another cross-country move. Fear tried to grip my soul from being reminded of the one whose perfect love could cast it out in an instant. Yet somehow, holding on to fear made it sometimes feel like I could control it. Thank God, He is a rescuer.

God sees my mess and nods His head knowingly, understanding what was and what is to come. He's not surprised by my past and has allowed it in my story. His perfect love has given me grace and faith that can be confident in a hope that is eternal, if I let go. Fear has been an enemy of faith, love, hope, trust, and peace. Truth, however, has called me into a deeper trust.

If it is true, and I believe that it is, that He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion, than I can loosen the grip I have on my life and let God take my fear. His love, grace, and truth enable me to dream, rest, and hope in the eternal comfort to come. His work in me will never be done as I need a new redemption every day.

In the meantime I can keep climbing life's station wagons and ask for faith like a child.

Philippians 1:6
⁶ And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

2 Thessalonians 2:15-17
¹⁵ With all these things in mind, dear brothers and sisters, stand firm and keep a strong grip on the teaching we passed on to you both in person and by letter. ¹⁶ Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, ¹⁷ comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say.

Royalty

2012-01-12T16:11:00.000-08:00

This morning I was greeted with an email from a wonderful family friend checking in and reminding me of some of God's truth. She had no idea I needed it. She started the email, "Daughter of the Most High". All day I have been thinking, "daughter of the King."

Last summer, I was walking around Disney World with some friends. My friend Laurie had her family in town and they were all there, including her sweet 7 year old niece. For the record, Promise is now 8 :). Promise is in love with the Disney princesses and was keenly in search of her very own Disney princess gown. She made her most important selections and waited patiently in line to meet each Disney Princess, live and in color. As we approached the front, I watched Promise grow anxious with excitement as the fine moment arrived. She was enthralled with longing in her eyes, dreaming to be just like those princesses some day. I mentioned to her dad that I wasn't much into princesses at her age. I just could not identify with their Disney story as I rode my bike and played outside. He told me that he always calls Promise "his princess," and that ultimately it is because she is God's princess.

(don't these girls look like they could use some sweatpants and a coke?)

For some reason I thought about this idea of myself being God's princess for a REALLY long time, and I just didn't love it. As I recounted this story and the things my mind had lingered on, a friend asked me an important question. She said, "well, what is your definition of a princess?" She reminded me that if I only thought of myself as a Disney-defined princess, I'd be a lost cause. But being God's princess doesn't mean I have to wear high-heels, because Lord knows I'd never sing up for that for the long term. It also doesn't mean I have to wear lots of lace or even keep random talking animals around as pets. More importantly, I does mean that I am a daughter of the KING.

Lately, like so often, I have been thinking about my singleness and who's I am as I walk each mile. And this, my friends, is the hardest part.

I have spent many years in my castle's tower as a "lady in waiting." Secretly, as to not appear weak, hoping in fine Disney-form, for my prince to arrive and save me from loneliness or despair. I would have asked him to cross that treacherous moat of insecurity, battle the dragon of depression and discontent, and find the key buried way down deep, to unlock the tower door to my freedom. A tall order for a prince of even the strongest stature.

This year in particular, in my waiting, God has given me something else; what I really needed. Calling me a daughter of the King, His very princess, He's reminded me that my castle's tower door has already been open. The true freedom I desire stands resting in the truth that I am already His. In my mess and brokenness He invites me to the feast, satisfied with my jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers. No longer powerless but empowered in the shadow of the resurrection. He wants me, dragon and all. I am a princess, clothes with strength and dignity because that was His plan. Purposed for His kingdom and adorned with His peace. With majesty He greets me in the morning and I lavish Him with praise as we walk together, the Kingdom at hand.

He asks me to wait for my earthly prince charming with patience and renewed expectation, acknowledging who's I am - a Daughter of THE King.

Will you join me in living out of our significance as Sons and Daughters?

Thank God I don't have to wait in a big 'ol scratchy, lacy, gown.

Time for a New Year Update

2012-01-11T07:51:00.000-08:00

I'm far overdue for an update. I've enjoyed updating my blog with things I'm processing through, as it has been helpful for me to reflect in that way. However, real life happens all throughout the musings of my mind! My family got to share Thanksgiving AND Christmas together at my sister's in Austin. It was so nice not to have to fly somewhere and have extra time just to be together. A couple days after Christmas I got to head to Colorado for work (!) and ski. I know, you're really sad for me. Family Camp hosted a camp up near Gunnison, Colorado, at Waunita Hot Springs Ranch. That place is as amazing as it sounds. Gorgeous vistas, soothing hot springs, and lots of wonderful time to spend ministering to and just hanging out with great families. Plus, the skiing was pretty great too. I forgot how much fun it was!

Here are some photos of my holidays. Brace yourself, there are quite a few...I am a new Aunt after all! :) Hope your New Year is off to a great start. More to come on mine later...

Cute family with their new baby girl all decked out for Christmas Eve

There was lots of snuggling to be had

The best mom in town (besides my own:))...and her precious girl!

The Fam...minus me, I was the photographer

Four generations! Great to have nanny with us for Christmas

The mother load...Christmas morning. My parents out-do themselves every year, plus there was a new girl in the family to spoil!

Um...this is just too much to pass up. I love how Gucci has to be a part of the action ALL.the.time.

Christmas dinner...classy!

Love these cool trees my sister found at Target

On the slopes with some staff girls...and yes, I rocked that helmet!

Hanging with two of the members of a great family I met

Our staff for the weekend, fresh off the slopes

Truly Advent

2011-12-24T19:20:00.000-08:00

Waiting is not an unfamiliar concept to me, despite the trend of instant gratification in our culture. This year has been one of waiting to hear the voice of God, to know what might be next in my personal and vocational journey, or even to experience what Jesus promises is the peace that passes all understanding. We all wait for something; I am not alone in my waiting. Maybe we wait for the grass to get greener, like on the other side of the fence. Perhaps we are waiting for the darkness to lift in our weary souls or for oppression to cease and God’s mercy to redeem. Whatever the waiting, having patience and hope in our world’s broken state is the hardest part.

Waiting was not unfamiliar to the people of God in Scripture. The Israelites were accustomed to waiting, and grew wounded, tired, ungrateful, and impatient in doing so. They were promised a redeemer, one born of a virgin, to come with healing in His wings, or in the original Hebrew language, the “corners” of his garment. He would lift them out of their oppression, brokenness, and place them on top of the world, in a bright shining city on a hill. He would save their lives through His grace, giving salvation and redemption to a world weary of waiting, losing hope.

Sometimes in my waiting, I forget to see the gifts in front of my face, like the first-world, lavish conditions I live in. I forget that I eat three meals a day and have more left for another. I have family and friends that love, understand, and truly know me. I can read, write, and express myself without fear of losing my life for speaking what I believe to be true. Sometimes, when the waiting is almost unbearable, I even forget that regardless of the world around me, there is One who loves me unconditionally, and offered the gift of His Son that I might know eternity with Him in Heaven. Somehow, the weariness of my soul wins, and I find myself identifying with Israel in their waiting. Impatient for my Redeemer to be done healing my broken heart or mending the ways I see pain in the world.

This Christmas, I suppose it is important for me to have seen darkness, to know pain in the world or brokenness in my soul. To become familiar with the struggle and tension of waiting for the Israelites is only half of the story. Identifying with the pain and suffering of Christ paints a new picture for me of what He did becoming the “light of the world”. At Christmas I get to remember the waiting of the Israelites and be reminded that we will continue to wait for the return of Christ to us, honestly hoping for Heaven. Just like the weary world rejoiced as Christ came once long ago, He will come again. Just as He brought the law of love, and the Gospel of peace, He will come again to bring completion to the redemption of the world, and even my soul.

His light, in Christ, is what we see now on that city on the hill and what we will see made new in us as we allow Him to change our hearts. The light He brings asks nothing of us to earn it, but invites us to “taste and see” its goodness even now. Will you join me in celebrating the gift of God’s light in a dark world through Christ this Christmas? And will you remind me to continue hoping for heaven when I seem to forget that the best gift has already been given?

Gratefully,

Emily

Had to include this because she's so darn cute!!

The Potter and His Clay

2011-12-07T15:17:00.000-08:00

My neighbor and I went on a walk about a month ago and I have been thinking about something she said ever since. We were talking about the healing and redeeming God does in our lives. Sometimes “rebuilding” seems to be a better word for it. She said something along the lines of, “God’s redemption of our lives takes the whole lifetime.” He’s constantly in the business of rebuilding, renovation, and recreating.

I have been spending a lot of time holding my newborn niece these days. She is fragile, tiny, with miniature fingers and toes, making sweet sounds, and is vulnerable in this life stage. It reminds me of my own soul’s fragile and vulnerable nature, and the ease with which it is broken or shattered. I’ve prayed that God would break my heart for what breaks His. I just didn’t realize it was my broken heart that needed tending to.

Sometimes when I am in a broken place, I see the Lord at His potter’s wheel. He has picked up the pieces of my soul named anger and pride, the ones with sharp edges and jagged sides. He lingers over the pieces with gutted insides, named insecurity and rejection. He picked up those pieces scattered about that I thought He had long since forgotten, hurtful words and lies I have believed. He gathered those dried out and sharp shards, and begins to see something new. Collecting much needed moisture from my tears of sadness and grief, He begins to turn the mixture into malleable clay.

Sitting before that potter’s wheel, the One who sees acknowledges each detail and knows the perfect place for each piece as He begins to rebuild. With gentleness and grace He leans His hands into my clay soul’s sides, with perfect pressure at each point. He spends hours shaping, more so, perfecting.

With indignation I ask Him why He made my clay soul so fragile, so easily breakable. Why not make a concrete disposition or one not so quick to fret with life’s shifting sands. He coolly speaks the truth that if He did, I would have no need for Him altogether. It’s that moment of the conversation I’m having with the great potter that He tells me He’s a good and trustworthy artist. Duly humbled, I acknowledge that this potter works with care, purpose, and trustworthy goodness. This potter, after all, is the great comforter, wonderful counselor, almighty God, everlasting Father, the prince of peace.

So then, in this lifetime of being rebuilt, re-crafted, newly shaped, my prayer becomes:

Lord, let my soul be breakable enough in the places it needs, but not so fragile that the shattered pieces cannot be picked back up once more.

2 Cor. 4:7-10; 16-18

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

I'm an Aunt!

2011-11-30T11:48:00.001-08:00

So this is old news for those of you that follow me of facebook, but since I can, I figured I'd just let you all know here on the blog that my little niece is adorable and perfect (as far as we're concerned)! Proud much? ;)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Meet Adele Grace Whelan

Proud grandparents, Pappy and Nanna

Another set of proud grandparents, Grandma Jan and Papa Ron, and their son, the proud daddy

just a couple hours old

Auntie Em

One of the few sad faces...she;s a happy baby!

Nanny meets Adele in the hospital

Gucci and Adele meet for the first time....I think they like each other

Thanksgiving day...so much to be grateful for!

Mommy and Babe...lots of love!

As the deer pants.....

2011-11-09T07:05:00.000-08:00

This summer I turned 27. I asked for a necklace I had been eyeing online from a gal who makes her necklaces by hand. The necklace was going to be a manifesto of sorts, for the year to come. It was going to be a reminder and a goal to reach for. The necklace was going to be all of these things because I couldn't create for myself the hope I needed. Emily Dickinson's famous quote about hope is etched into a metal tag on the necklace, with a delicate pearl and a stamped feather accompanying the words. It says, "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul." Of course, this isn't the complete poem that the line comes from, but it's words have significance for me.

Birthday money came along and I ordered up that necklace with great joy and excitement about all the hope it would help me create. We all know how this story goes....hope is not something we can create on our own, right?

It's been two and a half months since I bought that necklace and I've been wearing it frequently. However, the more I wear it, the more I reflect on what it really means.

I get this picture of the most beautiful bird, clothed in vibrant colors, singing cheerful and soothing tunes, perched delicately on the window sill in my soul. It sings comforting songs that offer joy and peace, even lingering in the shadows, persistent and pure.

The only problem with this bird of hope is it's neighbor, grief. Grief has found her place in my soul as well. Grief is a sad old woman, clothed in dark robes, shadows covering her face, hiding the wrinkles that reveal pain endured. Grief is heavy and doesn't often move. She sits and steals the songs of her neighbor, the hopeful bird, and packs them away in the dark recesses of my soul, making them impossible to hear. Grief cries from her step in my soul and digs deeper than I ever imagined she could go when I invited her in. I am not sure who gave her permission to shoo away her neighbor bird, but when she does, the bird flies from it's soul perch and I am immediately aware of the sadness grief requires of me.

What would it look like for grief and that sweet, delicate, little bird of hope to sit and stay for a while? Just when I get accustomed to either voices speaking the truth I need to hear, one is silenced by the other. Grief isn't all bad, requiring me to be cry for the things in my world that need some tears, but isn't it hope that makes grief possible to endure?

The Psalmist David knew this tension better than anyone as we witness the emotional extremes he endured in the Psalms he wrote. Psalm 42 is not just a lament, but a call for God to be his hope, and David found the strength and courage to praise God, despite that he often felt forgotten by God. I find it interesting that in that same passage David acknowledged his need for the stream of living water only God could provide despite his desert wandering.

There is a certain death to self that brings life, but not without grieving what has been lost and diving into what David called, "deep calls to deep." I suppose it is God's mercy that makes it possible to enter grief and His hope that makes it possible to endure.

Perhaps grief and hope are both dwelling in my soul after all.

Psalm 42
¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
under the protection of the Mighty One
with shouts of joy and praise
among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

*photo courtesy of: http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/hope-is-the-thing-necklace-P65C32.aspx

Weekend in the trees

2011-11-07T07:41:00.000-08:00

Fall has descended upon Texas....and I love it!!

I spent the weekend out at camp, which I do every other weekend, and loved driving through the river (yes, we drive through the river) observing the change and vibrant colors of the leaves. It was fantastic. They were not quite as brilliant as the trees I walked through in my days at Gordon-Conwell up in the Boston area, but I'll take what I can get. Here's one photo our photographer took out there this weekend.

Doesn't it make you feel refreshed just looking at it? I walk away from camp every weekend feeling a little more like myself. It's a very good thing.

Weekend Update

2011-11-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish I was as funny as Tiny Fey and as you read the title of this blog, you'd jump for joy at the coming sarcasm and jokes that make millions. Unfortunately, you'll have to settle for the literal interpretation and the non-SNL update....this is literally an update on my weekend.

But it gets even better. My college friend Rebecca, who I have the joy of sharing life with here in San Antonio (at least for this year), did a wonderful job cataloging our weekend away. We hit the road with her sweet husband, and went to Houston to visit one of his college friends and see that area of Texas for ourselves. Actually it was more like Seabrook and Galveston, but who's counting. She documented our weekend away with charm and gusto over at her blog that I think you should visit! Weekend update: here

Our trip was a Saturday to Sunday whirlwind but we had a great time! But if it was just a Saturday to Sunday trip you might be wondering what else I do with my time in my "minimally" employed state :). Thanks for asking. I'm a sign making machine! That's right....signs. Not the type of "signs" you find in the New Testament, the plain old wooden ones. I was inspired by some friends of mine, Andy and Tara Lowry. They have a ton of creative juices flowing through their home and I first copied one of their creations, the city sign, that Tara blogs about on her fabulous and insightful blog. Here's my take on the city sign:

Tara and Andy are also making these awesome "Family Rules" signs that you can order from them on Tara's blog. Just click on this word, "link", and go check it out. She's even giving one away, some with Christmas words on them. Go order one!!!

I'm not sure Tara and Andy should have showed me how to make these signs because now I'm coping their original idea and making all kinds of signs for friends and family. Here's the one I made for my soon-to-be niece's nursery:

Right now I'm in the process of making one for a friend as a Christmas present and making a small one that is going to be a fun little Christmas decoration just for me! Can't wait to post the final products! Maybe I should start selling these babies and call this my other part-time job because Lord knows they take awhile to make! :) Hope you all had a great weekend and are doing things you enjoy.

The Great Comforter

2011-10-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

Last night, as I was laying in bed and saying some prayers I could hear the sound of the cars traveling along the highway a few miles away. It was not a sound that was unfamiliar, but one that brought me back to the upstairs room in one particularly comforting home.

Every Christmas growing up we went to Nanny and Pappaw's house on a sprawling 135 acre beef cattle farm, in what seemed like the "middle of nowhere" Kentucky. Despite Frankfort being the capitol city, this Seattle girl was far from her childhood suburb, but felt right at home in the open spaces and southern drawls. My sister and I shared one half of the upstairs, in two twin beds that Nanny had to buy once she found out we did less sleeping and more fighting in that full size bed. We'd lay in bed and fall asleep to the sounds of trucks along the highway, the only indication that a more bustling world was not far away. We would wake up to the smell of Nanny's biscuits, bacon, and sausage, and come down the stairs to find her dressed in that same blue "housecoat," with matching "houseshoes" shuffling along the wooden kitchen floors. She'd smile and say, "how's my girl? Sleep good?" and I'd be embraced with a hug and the warmth of the kitchen stove. The day would be spent exploring the pastures, jumping through hay bales, and maybe a horse ride or a trip into town. The smell of the cows is not hard for my brain to recall but the adventures along the creek that run through those fields, seems more vivid and breathing with life. Each evening spent in the den, watching TV and visiting, sitting with family and settling in.

Imagining that farm and that house was all it took for me to feel embraced and comforted last night. There is a reason God told the Israelites to remember His faithfulness with great repetition. He knew it would be hard for them to remember when the desert grew hot and nourishment was hard to find. He knew they would begin to question His goodness as they wandered to the land of the living. Somehow I imagine some of them needed a bit of comforting as they wandered, feeling lost, and uncertain that God's promises would become reality. In my own seasons of desert, I too forget that God's faithfulness is real and I do need His comforting and encouragement to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Gratefully, His mercies are new every morning and even if I cannot see His faithfulness or provision for me in the future or even in my present, I can see His goodness in my past and be comforted by memories in the past. Perhaps of the farm or grandparents who walk so closely with Jesus you feel a little more connected with Him after time with them. Nanny always said, "God is good, this I know for sure". Her words are spoken with tremendous life experience as she has seen her fair share of deserts and hard places. Her faith has seemingly not wavered but reminds me to let go and trust a God that comforts and provides.

2 Corinthians 1:2-7

² May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. ³ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. ⁴ He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. ⁵ For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. ⁶ Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. ⁷ We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

Come to Me

2011-10-28T10:38:00.000-07:00

This morning I sat by the river in Boerne. It's grown muddy and dark with the reality of drought all around it. Dry and brittle trees, cracking soil, and ducks scavenging for any morsel of nourishment along the banks. My soul identifies with this river today. Discouragement wants to take precedence in my heart and challenge the quality of my thoughts. Satan speaks lies of insecurity, hopelessness, fear, and doubt. It's thinking about the future that often pulls me from Christ's presence in my present, doubting his faithfulness and struggling to trust that He does not withhold His best for me.

Passers by bring slices of bread for the ducks, hoping to sustain them just a little bit longer as they wait for the land to be nourished once more, and provide the life they need to remain. the Lord reminds me, He is the bread of life, my stubbornness stands hard to receive yet my heart asks for a soft and gentle spirit. There is a child that hands each crumb of crust to the ducks as they wait patiently and dance eagerly for their sweet bite. But if I were the duck in my demanding ways, I'd ask for the girl with the bread to come to me. Didn't Jesus say it's the other way around for the weary and brokenhearted?

Yet still, an older duck crosses my path, limping along to the bread nearly 50 ft away. This duck stops, turns, looks me in the eye as to say, "perseverance isn't about waiting for life to come to you, but to inch your way to it, tiny step by tiny step". Her age and wisdom tell her to move slowly and persistently to the bread, the bringer of life. She stops for a minute to recoup, but steps forward as long as it takes. There is purpose in her steps and motivation in her heart, knowing the nourishment is there if she just puts one foot in front of the other and opens her mouth to receive. And she arrives just in time for the smallest bit of bread, but somehow stands proud, more for the journey than for the small fulfillment of bread at the end of the road.

Lord, that my heart would stand proud of the journey and less consumed by the future promise. Give me a grateful heart that receives life along the way as I attempt to limp along as best I know how. Offer hope in the discouragement and trust despite the lies I hear. For you say to me this morning by the river,

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, Emily, you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28, 29 NLT)

Wait patiently for the LORD.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. (Psalm 27:14 NLT)

Showered!

2011-10-25T18:08:00.001-07:00

Despite the challenges of moving, the emotions of transition and change, there is a great joy in living close to family. Especially when said family is expecting a new baby....their first one! I was blessed to be a part of showering the couple with exciting new things to fill their nursery and prepare them for the sweet baby girl, due Nov. 14 (unless she makes an early appearance, of course). A highlight of the shower for me was speaking with a few "seasoned" moms as they inquired about excitement in being a new Auntie Em. One shared the unique love and relationship Aunts get to have with their nieces and nephews, and I have to say bits and pieces of that are already being stirred in my heart. I did not expect to be so taken with a baby I have not been introduced to, but I'm finding myself more and more attached. Isn't it strange, and beautiful, that God stirs our hearts to love what He has created, without condition, just because He created it? I think I'm going to LOVE being an Auntie Em! Here's a little a poem I wrote to attach to a gift I made for the little one's nursery....

Oh the adventures we will have
Me and you
And teddy bear too

We’ll sing and dance
And play all day
Every game, just your way

Splashing in the water
Dreaming and making friends
Until, my niece, each day ends

You are loved so much
I can’t wait to be your Auntie
A special place in my heart
Is always saved for you my sweet niece

Here's a song you should listen to while looking at the photos from the shower...listen for the heartbeat at the beginning of the song. It's the song writer's daughter during an ultrasound...amazing!

Sarah's Austin friends pulled out all the stops for this shower...so fun to work with them and get to know them!

It's that time again...

2011-10-24T08:23:00.001-07:00

For an update!!!!

I've been holding out on you all...mostly because moving and getting settled somewhere takes work! But enough of my excuses, here's what's up!

On August 22nd I moved into a cute little house not far from Main St. in Boerne, Tx. Boerne is a short distance from San Antonio and full of charm and character. Main St. is loaded with Antique shops, boutiques, restaurants, and a sweet river running through. Hello Norman Rockwell!
I am working with Laity Lodge Family Camp, which is a part of the H.E.B. Foundations for Laity Renewal. This foundation was started by the HEB grocery founder, Howard E. Butts. He wanted to establish a place along the Frio River that provided renewal for "laity" in the body of Christ that would also resource them to live their lives for Christ in the workplace, in home life, and to "transform their daily life". Not too shabby! I get to work every other weekend with families out on 1900 acres of land along the Frio River, tucked closely into a canyon. It's beautiful! (more on that to come) I do a great deal of programming, leading worship, making sure things are happening logistically, and supporting our staff of college students and other post-grads. Not to mention, learning how to shoot a rifle! Currently I'm out at the canyon part-time but it's been great fun!

I'm hoping to get back into the swing of blogging although it seems like I say that an awful lot and then duck out of it again. Now that I'm in a bit of a routine here, I think I can manage more frequent posts! :) I'm living about and hour and twenty minutes from my sister and my brother-in-law Spencer, and it has been so fun helping them prepare for their sweet baby girl who will be making an appearance in November. I'm sure she'll give me a great deal to talk about...and of course the delight in living near family again!

Thanks for checking in with me here and stay tuned for more!

Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows, Part 2

2011-07-15T08:26:00.000-07:00

This is no Stephanie Platter movie critique, but it'll do! The three of us, Alicia, Laurie, and myself, shared Alicia's birthday dinner, grabbed our sweats and headed for the theater. We arrived about two hours early which gave us a decent amount of time to find a good seat and take in all the people watching we'll need for the year. With great anticipation, we waited for the film to start and a good showing of crazy Potter fans came out for the end of the epic saga. The film was filled with one liners from favorite Potter characters and just about every memorable character from the books made an appearance, both on screen and off screen in homemade costumes. The battle scenes were gripping with phenomenal artistry and moments that tugged on your every emotion. Spoiler alert: the story came to completion with Voldemort's demise, but not before Harry could learn the truth about his past and the honesty of Snape's heart. It was a story that was not far from stories that have been told for thousands of years. A hero's life sacrificed for the greater good, yet is resurrected to be the commoners rescuer. Sound familiar? Harry brings hope, compassion, even for his enemies, and the tried and true adage, "good overcomes evil" marches on. And for those of us loving a sappy ending, just like in the novel, we fast forward 19 years at the end of the flick to see our favorite characters and the lives they are living.

Now for the really good part....I was able to get some not so incognito pics of some people, only one of which I knew. There were some seriously Harry Potter invested people at this flick, which did not disappoint. Some even sobbed through particularly emotional parts of the movie...I, however, did not find a tear. Here are some pics I managed to snap from the iPhone, please dismiss their quality:

Harry Potter....trust me, the lightening bolt is on his forehead...and he's about 25..

This gal made a pretty sweet spray-paint/puffy paint shirt...it claims she's a "Hogwartian"

Her friend had a "death eater" shirt on...I'm pretty sure she made both...bless her heart

These dudes are donning their best interpretation of Dumbledore and his wizard friend...I think

And last but not least, a friend Bobby, dressed as Snape. He claimed he wasn't into it and was nervous we thought he looked like a girl. Right....

Potter fan or not, you'll love the movie and the completion of a story that's been unfolding for over a decade. But do me a favor and go when it's normal for people to be awake. That was way too late for this girl....who goes to bed by 11pm!

The End of an Era

2011-07-14T14:29:00.001-07:00

The title makes it seem like this is going to be a sad and sentimental post...in some ways that is true, and in most ways it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Tonight I will be donning my sweatpants (sweat "capri's" for this Florida resident...too hot for the full length) and grabbing two friends to head to the last installment of the Harry Potter saga. That's right, the nerd inside me is trilled that the "Hallows: Part 2" has finally arrived and the we get to watch the story unfold. Although I spent a summer a couple years ago reading through the whole series, and I know how it is all going to end, I couldn't be more excited about watching the story come to a close on the big screen.

We'll get to see these fine characters capture some more horcruxes (sp?...only J.K. Rowling would know) and come to a place of peace when all is said and done for "the one who shall not be named." Anybody else excited?! Don't be shy, we can be Potter nerds together.

I imagine we'll run into several Potter enthusiasts tonight at the midnight showing and I'm secretly just as excited to see what kind of characters show up at the theater tonight, (spoiler alerts) as I am for Voldemort's days to be over. I'll be sure to come back with a recap on my experience staying up way past my bedtime to join the masses waiting anxiously to watch the final addition come to life on the screen. Stayed tuned.....

P.S. This photo is way too intense for those classes.....can I get a witness?

Peeling away my Dragon skin

2011-07-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

Over the past seven months I've been on a spiritual retreat of sorts. Although I've lived at home and visited family and friends in different places, I've been somewhat secluded in my days, seeking the Lord, and growing ever dependent on Him. His voice is the one I've been attempting to train my ear to hear and His presence has been more tangibly sought in my life over the past seven months. Leave it to the Lord to make it abundantly clear when He desires for you to sit still and deal with the matters of your heart that need to be changed by Him.

Last week I watched the newest flick that has come to DVD from the Narnia series, "Voyage of the Dawn Treader." I've have read the book several times but was struck by an image that was created from the words of the novel. Eustace, a boy turned into a dragon so that his outward appearance would match the condition of his heart, was being re-shaped and changed by the lion Aslan. Aslan had been changing his heart and as Eustace's soul changed, it became necessary for him to no longer be a dragon externally. The picture is of Aslan, with his paws, peeling away the scales of Eustace's dragon skin that he couldn't peel away for himself. It is obvious that this is a painful process for Eustace, but Aslan stands close, with great warm light, doing the work of peeling back his scales for him and presenting him with a refreshing bath and new clothes.

I love this picture because I think it's true of what our sanctification process ought to look like and I often need reminding how little of it I can do for myself. Like Eustace, I find the sinful places in me, and instead of simply offering them to the Lord, I try to fix them unfortunately growing for myself a covering of scaly skin on my heart. My pride sometimes thinks it's my responsibility to be make myself clean and new before the Lord. All along, Christ stands with the work already done on the cross and a new set of clothes for me to put on.

Matthew 11:28-30 says: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

If you are weary and feel like a dragon in your own skin, you have nothing to do but to embrace Christ's "yoke" of love and be burden by His grace to find rest and new life. This has become such a helpful truth in sitting in a season that could reek with anxiety (and has in some respects), anger, and frustration. Sitting in Christ's love, receiving His grace has offered new life. I am His and that's enough. Who knew that would be so hard to learn?

Jury Just in...

2011-06-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

I have been watching way too much of the Casey Anthony trial...hence the language used in the title. I swear I will recover and return to normal language in my communication...I swear I'm telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Anyway, the test results are in!! I get to have a NIECE!!!!! Looks like my sister's dreams are coming true with little pink ballet slippers, cute outfits, and fancy dresses to come (although she'd be happy with whatever sex the baby is as long as it's healthy). We're all excited that the baby is looking healthy and growing well in her Mama's belly! I wonder what I'll buy first for this little cutie:

Ran for Her Life

2011-06-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had the privilege of participating in an awesome event for an incredible cause. I took it upon myself to train for a 5K, with the help of a spectacular correspondence trainer Angie Gooding. Check her out here...seriously, you'll be better for it! She's an awesome trainer and an even more awesome person. I'll tell you more about her later. So, I trained for this 5K because I've tried to sign up for races and complete them in the past and something has always stood in the way of me completing them...mostly my knees. However, this past weekend it all came together.

Samaritan Village, a transitional home for women with the desire to walk away from addiction and street life, hosted "Run for Her Life 5K"...catchy title, I know. This was an event to raise awareness of the many needs in our community, particularly that of women who need some support and help getting on their feet. Consequently, I ran for her life, the woman who cannot run for herself, or even speak for herself and the help she might need. I was reminded as I ran of the blazing Florida heat at 7:30am, but more importantly of the privileges I have been given throughout life. I was blessed with a good upbringing, parents who love me unconditionally, and resources that a majority of the world does not even see. Knowing what this race was all about made it so much easier to endure the humid Florida summer morning and run for the sake of someone else, not just my own physique. Check out their website here if you'd like to know more about Samaritan Village or how you can help in prayer and participation.

Hilton Head Island, SC

2011-06-16T07:07:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had the great pleasure of getting together with a dear friend from college. Lauren met me at her in-laws in Hilton Head Island, SC, totting her precious 1-year old son. It was such a gift to be able to spend such quality time together and share the beauty and fun of Hilton Head Island and Savannah, GA while Lauren's in-laws were gracious to watch the little cherub. Of course, the sweet little muffin boy was great fun and a delight to get to know. He'll be walking soon which was so exciting to watch. It's amazing to me how God can bring friends into our lives that remain life-long encouragers, blessings, and so much fun to be with no matter how far apart we now live...Lauren is one of those people. I'm blessed to have a few! :) If you'd like to hear more from her life, she's got a great blog over here...check it out! Thought you all might want to see some photos of the weekend. If you'd like to see more, head to my FB page.

Lauren and I sharing a wonderful dinner (I later got a little minor case of food poisoning from that lovely fish, but it didn't last long!)

The sweet boy....who could argue with that face!

South beach marina on Hilton Head Island

Pretty church, surrounded by big Oak trees and droopy Spanish moss...love the look of the South!

Lauren and her boy

Don't Mess With Texas

2011-06-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

I started this blog in anticipation of journeying along with those of you who are interested in what goes on in my life, whether fascinating or not! :) I posted a few weeks ago about MY plan for what's next. Go to the University of Central Florida, get another Master's degree, and look for ministry positions as I went. However, MY plans are rarely God's plans until I let go and watch His mastery unfold. This season of my life is no exception. After posting about Tim Keller's Book, "The Prodigal Son" and it's impact on me being reminded to "let go" and get "off the throne" of my own life, God moved in a mighty way. Here's the update....I would apologize for it's length, but I'm wordy, so good luck!

A couple of weeks ago a good friend Angie, from seminary, contacted me about some ministry opportunities that might be available within the foundation where she serves as a director of the youth camp. The Foundation for Laity Renewal, offices located in Kerrville, Texas (about 45 min. from San Antonio) was founded by grocery store founder H.E. Butts (laughter welcome) :). He started the foundation in an effort to offer a place for all kinds of people to go to a beautiful location and experience spiritual renewal outside of the day to day chaos. He bought about 2000 acres of land along the River Frio with a great canyon. The foundation has several camps and elements of ministry that it offers. Angie works with the youth camps that host camp mainly in the summer months. However, there is a new 8 million dollar facility being built in the canyon for the family camp. That is where I come in. The family camp has been running for about 4 years now (if I remember correctly) and this new facility is going to expand it's growing potential. There will be two full time positions opening up there in the next year. In the meantime, there is a part time opportunity that I interviewed for last week to support the family camp, assisting the director, leading worship, teaching, and working with the college students that come out to work the family camps. I was offered the part time position last week and my friend Angie even has an affordable living option for me in Boerne, not far from the camp offices. I accepted the job and will be starting Labor Day weekend. Family camp runs select weekends throughout the year with a few week-long camps a couple times a year. I plan to do this part time and may even be used in a few other capacities in different parts of the foundation to fill in the gaps. What's really cool about the family camp is that they offer weekends/weeks at camp for low-income families, wounded military families, and a variety of folks from different walks of life. It's really incredible to me that a camp is able to do so much for all kinds of families.

I am still considering another master's program but I could do that easily part time at the University of Texas, San Antonio, 15 minutes from where I will be living. Time will tell as I'm taking one step at a time with the Lord. I am really excited about this opportunity and the potential that it offers. I won't be able to interview for the full time positions until next Spring but the more I'm connected to the camp in the meantime, the better. Plus, I'm really looking forward to being in the great outdoors more consistently and using the gifts God has given me in many different ways. It is going to be great to live close to my sister and Spencer (1.5 hrs. away), especially as they anticipate the birth of their first little one this fall...yay!! It does feel bittersweet to move again and have to transition once more, especially on my own. I have bounced around the country, mostly for education, and it is just getting tiresome to build relationships and then to leave again. It is with sadness that I leave friends in Florida, but I am looking forward to living closer to family once again.

God has taught me a great deal at each stop so far, maybe enough to write a book someday ;). Moving from place to place is beginning to get old but I know that I will not be truly Home until all is said and done on this earth. In meantime, isn't it an adventure to experience so many places and spaces of this world? That's how I feel today....ask me in a month when I'm packing boxes to move in August!

Such a good thing

2011-06-04T17:43:00.000-07:00

I just love Thanksgiving. I think I've even talked about loving Thanksgiving on this blog before. At any rate, I love Thanksgiving because I have the pleasure of spending quality time with family and friends, cooking a delicious meal (usually with mom), watching football, the Macy's day parade, and just getting to be with loved ones all day. The weather in November, no matter where I live, is cooler, perfect for an after dinner walk, and reminds me of how each season changes and the many reasons I have to be grateful.

This Thanksgiving, it's going to get even better! My sister and her adoring husband Spencer are expected their very first little bundle of joy!! They are anticipating the sweet little Whelan baby on November 21st...just in time to snuggle with us on Thanksgiving and enjoy being together. I cannot even wait to be an Aunt and can't even imagine how much fun it will be to have a babe around. We are all so grateful for God's provision with a healthy mom and baby so far, and are continuing to pray they both stay safe and healthy till the little turkey is ready to come out of the oven!.....I know, cheesy...can I call the baby a little turkey too? Probably not, that might be a little too much. We'll just have to find out... :)

Memorial Day!

2011-05-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today about we used to do growing up for memorial day. The only real significant thing I did was to go down to the capitol of Washington (Olympia) and play taps for the veteran memorial service with my friend Lauren. We got all dressed up in our band uniforms like good geeks do, and set out to honor those who have sacrificed their lives for our sake...for a cool $20. Not too shabby....except I only did that twice.

In my family, the best way to celebrate memorial day and honor those who have fought and sacrificed for our freedom was to....EAT! We had more BBQ's in our backyard than I can count, come rain or shine in Seattle. This Memorial day is not different, except that I'm not with my immediate family :( and I went to the gym this morning. Gotta burn off what I'm about to eat or is it supposed to go the other way around?! Either way, I'm headed to a friend's BBQ with lots of friends and I cooked some fun gluten-free treats to contribute, that we all can enjoy. I made some baked beans and my new favorite: Almond Crunch Blueberry Pie!! :) Yum, doesn't seem to do it justice.

For those of you who suffer from Celiac disease, or for those who love a sweet treat in the Gluten-Free version, I've included the recipe.

Almond Crunch Blueberry Pie (GF version)

Crust:

Purchase store bought GF crust (easiest way to get a good GF crust)

• make sure it’s mostly thawed before putting in filling

Filling:

• 3 cups of fresh or frozen blueberries, thawed and drained

• ¾ cup of sugar

• 1/3 cup Pamela’s Gluten-Free Baking and Pancake flour mix

• 1/8 tsp. salt

• 2 large eggs, lightly beaten

• ½ cup sour cream

• ¼ tsp. grated lemon peel

• ¼ tsp. grated orange or tangerine peel

• 2 tbs. cornstarch to thicken – just stir into the mixture

Topping:

• 1/4 cup butter, softened

• ½ cup sugar

• ½ cup Pamela’s gluten-free baking and pancake flour mix

• 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon

• 1/3 cup chopped almonds

Preheat the oven to 375°. Mix together the filling either by hand or in a stand mixer with the paddle attachment. Pour the mixture into a thawed GF pie crust. Mix together the topping and sprinkle it on top of the pie so that it covers the filling. Bake in the oven with a cooking sheet underneath to catch any running blueberries , for 45-60 min. Keep an eye on it because it may finish in 45 min depending on your oven. Just make sure the topping is golden brown all over. Cool, slice, and enjoy!

Happy Memorial Day!

Celiac and the Pizza Lover

2011-05-27T07:16:00.000-07:00

This post has little to no consequence but may in fact make your day.

Last night I was feeling quite hungry for a good pizza. However, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease last August making any bready or breaded substance lethal to my small intestine (and turns out, makes me crazy...literally, I get irrationally fearful). The good news is that I had just recently discovered a pizza chain in our town has gluten-free crust and friends, it does not disappoint. I've tried BJ's gluten-free crust, which is good, but this one is so much better!!

Don't let Mellow Mushroom's psychedelic decor stopped you from enjoying their tantalizing GF crust. Trust me, even my roommate thought it was good and she can eat any bready goodness she wants. If you or someone you know has celiac disease tell them to run, not walk, to Mellow Mushroom for some delicious pizza goodness. And yes, Sarah, they have one in Austin!

Be Encouraged

2011-05-23T13:04:00.000-07:00

This week I entered in. I entered into the depth of emotion that I was experiencing with hopes to find clarity and understanding to its purpose. Entering in, I allowed myself to feel the pain and depth of emotions that have been pushing the envelope of my life. For the past four moths, I have been attempting to figure life out, answer my own questions, control some outcomes, be judgmental of myself wanting to fix my own issues. Sounds familiar? This type of behavior is not new to me. Throughout my short life, thus far, I have battled tendencies to live like the “elder brother” we find in the story of the prodigal son in the gospel of Luke. (read here)

For those of you that may not know the story, let me summarize. The younger brother of two sons of a wealthy and prominent father squanders his inheritance and sows his wild oats far from the land his father lives. Not only has he disgraced his father and family by asking for his inheritance early, but he has essentially ruined his life living frivolously and indulgently. As he comes home ready to do anything needed to repair his relationship with his family, with his tail between his legs so to speak, his father shamelessly runs out to him throwing social customs of dignity out the window. The father lavishes upon the son and calls for the fattened calf and a banquet to be held. All the while, the elder brother grows indignant, puts himself on the seat of judgment, and refuses to honor his father and brother at the party. He has remained morally sound and served the father asking very little. Unfortunately, his sin of living morally without embracing the love of the father already doled out to him on a daily basis, keeps him from joy while living a life of anger, fear, and anxiety.

With the help of Tim Keller’s book, “The Prodigal God,” and the work of the Holy Spirit, I hate to admit it, but I have seen myself in the elder brother. Over the last four months, I have done my part to morally uphold my beliefs, yet doing so frustrated and angry that the results I hoped for were going seemingly unanswered. I have grown anxious because my ways of coping with the challenges of life were only leaving me anxious and fearful about the future. My sin has left me distant from the Lord, not the other way around, and my sitting in the seat of judgment over my own life has left me far from joyful.

However, I have learned that it’s God’s kindness and love that brings us to true repentance. And so, as I read this story in scripture again, I was reminded that my savior has already accomplished my salvation and regardless of my failures, incompetence’s, or inconsistencies, His forgiveness still stands and His grace still covers me. I’m not sure how many times I will learn this lesson in my life, but every time I am shown how I try to control God or put myself on the throne of my life, God’s grace takes on new shape and what He did on the cross for me takes on new depth in me spiritually.

Tim Keller’s reminder to me in his book is to remember the power of God’s love in the sacrifice of Christ and to rest there…..sitting in the joy of His love. Seems like such an easy choice to make, but somehow I forget to rest. Here’s the quote from the book that did it for me:

“The choice before us seems to be to either turn from God and pursue the desires of our hearts, like the younger brother, or repress desire and do our moral duty like the older brother. But the sacrificial, costly love of Jesus on the cross changes that. When we see the beauty of what he has done for us, it attracts our hearts to him. We realize that the love, the greatness, the consolation, and the honor we have been seeking in other thins is here. The beauty also eliminates our fear. If the Lord of the Universe loves us enough to experience this for us, what are we afraid of? To the degree we “see his beauty” we will be free from the fear and neediness that creates either younger brothers or elder brother.” (page. 99)

“We never stop being younger being younger brothers or elder brothers until we acknowledge our need, rest by faith, and gaze in wonder at the work of our true elder brother, Jesus Christ.” (pg. 100)

Thus, the song of my heart and the praise on my lips becomes:

Update

2011-05-13T14:19:00.001-07:00

Well friends, it seems an update would help offer some context and set the tone for what you might find on my blog these days.

About four months ago, I left a ministry position at a church here in Florida where I helped brainstorm and launch a new worship service. I was there for about a year and a half but knew without a shadow of a doubt that God was calling me away from that ministry after some changes were being discussed. Just after leaving a began a season of discernment on what might be next for me. I traveled up to the northeast for a little road trip with my roomy visiting family and friends, while also meeting with a guy named Bob Perkins. Bob is the visionary behind "Vision for your Life" which helps folks determine how to best use their gifts and talents in the work force. During the process Bob had me writing my life history, taking some personality/psychological assessment tests, and doing quite a bit of digging into my personal life. This process helped me to discover that at the very core of who I am and who I was created to be, my "core motivator" in life is to "care" for others. This discovery was not a total surprise but more of a spoken reality about my nature. With this reminder about what I loved about my time as an Resident Assistant in college, and ministering to the needs of others in church ministry, I'm headed back to school! Bob and I both agreed that pursuing more education was necessary to pursue more of the counseling route in ministry. I'm not sure what God might have but I know that taking roles where I serve more in a counseling/pastoral role in the lives of others will be more fulfilling for me and truer to the nature of who I am. This will require more education....good thing I'm a little bit of a nerd!

At this point, I have applied to the University of Central Florida for their Master's in Social Work program which will further lead me to become a licensed marriage and family therapist. Given the large amount of applicants it could be another month before I hear whether or not I'll be starting there in the fall. Hopefully, this will be my next mascot:

In the meantime, I've been sitting very still and waiting on what's next. I have no idea if I'll get into UCF and no idea what to do if I don't get in. I'm doing my best to trust God but sitting still has never been my forte....just ask my folks. I'm hoping I'm learning some good things in the process and I'm going to do my best to share them with you!

Genesis

2011-05-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

Genesis is a word that represents to many people a "new beginning." For some the word Genesis recalls images of the sweet action 1995 SEGA genesis, a new version of the Genesis car, the name of a super-hip 2002 church plant down the street, and for some it's the name of a rad and totally rockin 70-80's band (thank you phil collins and peter gabriel).

But for me, it represents or reminds me of something I've heard about my whole life, literally: the first book of the Bible.

Genesis is an epic book of creation, fall, and the beginning of a narrative where God pursues, woos, loves, forgives, and lives in relationship with a people who couldn't be farther from perfect. We hear about people/stories like Adam & Eve, Noah & the ark, Abraham & Sarah, Hagar (one of my fav stories!), Isaac, Jacob, Joseph & his crazy brothers, Cain & Abel. The Bible is off to a grand start with this incredible book.....I love it.

Today, my Genesis, is a new journal beginning. I've restructured the idea of this blog (at least in my mind) and am pursuing a more intentional way of expressing thoughts, prayers, and contemplations of God's word. I am in a particularly challenging season of life, and beginning to really embrace it. I'm in a season of waiting, a time of discernment, and a time of great stillness and quiet. While these are all good things, some days are more challenging than others. It goes without saying that these times are to be expected in life as we grow. Therefore, I need an outlet and a means to track God's work in my life. This time of growth, hopefully, will draw me nearer to the person God created me to be.

You will hear more about the processes I'm going through and what I'm hearing from God, or not hearing consequently. Know this: I am writing this blog for my own need to process, but my hope is that someone out there in cyber-diary world might be encouraged to know someone else is moving through the same season or that my reflections on the character of God might be something you need to hear. My plan is to be honest, forth-coming, and hopefully funny from time to time. Friends....let's journey together....may God meet us along the road.

Bon Voyage!

2010-07-06T18:54:00.001-07:00

So....I was so inspired to start writing on my blog again and have already been a slacker in the blogging world! Therefore, let me update you briefly. I'm headed to Rwanda tomorrow! morning which is excellent, terrifying, and so fun at the same time! I wanted to keep you and my church community abreast to my comings and goings in Rwanda so we established a blog on our ministry's website. The link is as follows and I'd love to have your prayers and offer this as a way for you to keep up with my travels there.

Hope you enjoy and I'll have much more to say next time!

www.anthemorlando.com/blog/rwanda

Laity Lodge Youth Camp

2010-06-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

I've have been MIA from the digital world for the past few days and it was glorious! I was invited by a friend, Angie, to come and be a part of their staff training week at Laity Lodge Youth Camp in Texas over the weekend. I did a little bit of speaking, training the counselors, and worship leading. It was such an encouraging weekend as I led the loudest worshippers ever in worship, hiked around in a beautiful canyon, and got to share meaningful scripture with a receptive crowd. The full-time camp staff was affirming and the counselors were so supportive. It was so nice to turn off my cell phone and disconnect for a time. The quietness of the canyon and the benefits of a good, sweaty, hike or two was such a great diversion from the day to day ministry life in Florida. I have a few pics to upload (thanks to a new friend Genevieve Peel) but more will come when I return home to FL on Friday. I'm enjoying a few days with my sister and Spencer in Austin before heading home! Enjoy the photos!

Me and Angie waiting to zipline

Leading worship/leading a devo on the top of a bluff overlooking the canyon

Leading worship with a LLYC staff member back at the camp

Another shot of worship leading with the LLYC staff

Home Again

2010-05-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

My roommate was gone for 8.5 days....and now she's home. Let the blessed reunion commence!

I must admit...

2010-05-21T18:06:00.000-07:00

Last summer I found myself engulfed in the Harry Potter series of books. I loved it!! I had to finish all 7 books by the time the summer ended and I relished in it. I don't often read books through a second time, especially when they are part of a 7 book series and 500 pages long. However, I am considering giving this series another go this summer.

Even more exciting, Universal Studios, here in Orlando, is opening up a portion of their theme park built to mimic the world of Harry Potter. Can you even imagine!?! They have the castle, a ride, the butter beer, and all the fun and fanciful details of the novels at play in the park! I can't even wait for the grand opening! Although it opens in June, I think I'll have to wait until the mass die down and check it out when a friend can get me in for free in August.

Here's a sneak peek:

I'm a little late....

2010-05-12T18:38:00.001-07:00

but it's better late than never!!

I love my mom! Most of us had the joy of celebrating Mother's day this past weekend and although I didn't get to be with my mom in person, I loved sharing a few laughs and special moments with her over the phone. I made her open my gift while she was on the phone and I could still hear in her voice, what her face must have looked like as she read my card and opened the package I had sent.

I was listening to NPR radio in the car today (much to the chagrin of my roommate who isn't a fan of talk radio....something I got from my mom, I should mention) and they did a segment that highlighted the relationship people have with their mothers. The study conducted tested the stress levels of students preparing to give a speech and how the consolation of their mothers impacted their stress levels. One group was comforted with their mother's touch and voice, while the second group was consoled simply by the sound of their mother's voice. The group that only heard their mother's voice had almost identical drops in their stress levels compared to the first group of both touch and voice.

I have had the pleasure of finding great peace in the sound of my mother's voice. Although many people in this world hear messages of hate, bitterness, anger, and painful discontentment in the voice of their mothers, I have been blessed to consistently hear peace, pride, wisdom, counsel, joy, laughter, patience, and love, in mine. These days many miles separate me from being comforted by the touch of my mother on a consistent basis, but the sound of her voice never ceases to disarm, provide peace, laughter, wisdom, and joy to my life.

I love ya mama....and am so grateful I got you!

P.S. Although we both have squinting faces in this photo...I still like the excitement in it...and I need a better one of the two of us! :)

Sermonizing

2010-05-10T15:33:00.000-07:00

Last September I began a journey of learning how to preach and teach and doing my best to improve at each opportunity. I'm still growing in my ability to communicate God's word to the people in our ministry. There are times when I really don't know if I've made any impact or if the way I communicated made sense to the people listening. The thing I keep leaning on is that I'm teaching God's word, and His word speaks for itself, and He is the one changing lives. That truth offers me rest.

During this process of learning more about preaching and teaching, I had the opportunity to share a little bit of my story. The youth ministry at our church asked me to come and preach during their "relationship" series. I was asked to bring the perspective of a single person in light of Biblical truth about what singleness can hold for the kingdom. I shared pieces of my story as a single person and the promises of God that have impacted me throughout my journey. If you're interested, the recording is posted on the student ministry website. Here's the link: (please keep in mind that I'm speaking to middle school and high school students here! :) )

just click on the link and look for "The Talk: Singleness"- Emily Ballbach
http://www.boredonsunday.com/index.php?option=com_sermonspeaker&Itemid=91

Rwanda in July

2010-05-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Hey friends,

For those who don't know by now (which truth be told, few people check this outside those who know most details in my life) I'm joining a group of other ministry leader in the Florida United Methodist conference on a trip to Rwanda. We're traveling with Zoe ministry and learning about how they help those orphaned by AIDS. Zoe, alongside their African friends in Rwanda, have developed the "giving hope" project which offer micro-loans to orphans (things like pigs, money, tools to farm, etc.) and trains them to be successful in their communities. By three years from the giving of the loan, most orphan communities are self-sufficient and self-sustaining. It's incredible that it's usually a bunch of older teens that are the heads of the house, guiding and being the main caregivers in these communities. If you want to learn more, head to www.zoeministry.org and read up!

I can't imagine what I'm going to experience in a few short months. I'm exactly two months away from my trip and can barely wrap my head around the idea that I'm going. I imagine it is a trip that will challenge me, grieve me, inspire me, and encourage me. At this point, I'm asking that God will create the expectations I ought to have in my soul, that I might really embrace whatever He has in mind for this trip. I just know it's going to be awesome!!

In the meantime....I'm off to get more of my vaccination shots for the trip!! Good thing needles don't make me nervous! On today's list: tetanus, hepatitis B booster, hepatitis A...wish me luck!

New beginnings

2010-05-03T18:14:00.001-07:00

This year has been a year of new beginnings and tons of change and transition. One would think that this would have been a really wonderful time to blog and journal, but alas, I have been MIA for months! It seems as though I've needed to detach from the internet world and embrace the experiences and emotions I've experienced. So here's a short list of such experiences/emotions to catch you all up:

- Tons of game nights with great new friends here in Oviedo
- A few trips to DisneyWorld with family and new friends - (some new friends work at Disney and graciously get my roommate and I in for free! - Thanks David!)
- Enjoyed and was so cared for during my six months living with good family friends here in Oviedo, the Kelley's and Farrell's.
- Helped coach a 9 year boys flag football team...so fun! thanks Tracey!
- Moved into a new apt. in November with my great new friend, Laurie! (although we already feel like we've known each other for ages....grateful for her!)
- Been challenged by ministry and it's ups and downs after starting a new ministry to young adults here in Oviedo/Orlando
- Experienced God teach and grow my heart as I am called to trust Him more each day
- Helped rescue a seagull from the scary Florida drivers on the side of the road (Laurie loves animals) - this is a blog post all on it's own, for another day and time
- Loved and was so encouraged by a trip to see great college friends and share in one of their weddings - pulled out the trumpet for that occasion....that was quite the experience
- Went on a road trip to Charleston, SC and Savannah with Laurie...so much fun!
- Spent the weekend with my grandparents in KY for Thanksgiving - learned a ton about life while I was there (again, a post for another day)
- Splashed in the apt. pool late at night when it was still warm out
- Am sharing in the joy of the iPhone...oh brother, it's addicting!

That's enough for now but know that there is more to come in the days ahead. Hope I post enough that you might have reason to stop by again!

Much Love Bloggers and friends....thanks for offering grace and having me back!

Are you kidding me?

2009-09-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

The other day I went to the gym with my new friend Laurie. As we were working out we saw a commercial for delicious looking, stuffed crust pizza. Between the sweating and the salivating, Laurie found herself craving some serious pizza. While I am a pizza fan myself, I wasn't nearly as hungry. However, Laurie's wish was about to become her reality. Not even two minutes later, in walked a pizza delivery boy with 25 piping hot pies.....I kid you not. At the gym? Seriously? 25 calorie invested, fat induced, deliciously smelling, and taste bud stimulating pizzas were invited into our local Planet fitness. I was shocked....appalled, and so incredibly intrigued. Were they trying a new marketing tactic? The more they feed us, the more we work out? Do they realize they are putting the temptation of satan in front of every weight watcher in the building? Apparently not!

Anyhow, Laurie and I put on our big girl pants on and refused to grow weak in the sight of temptation. We patted ourselves on the back and marched out of that gym like stronger people, physically, emotionally, and spiritually...amen and amen!

Forgot

2009-09-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

I forgot to tell you all that on August 15, I turned 25...yep, a quarter century. So far the new age has not been a problem, although I must say that it has been weird telling people I'm "25". One friend told me that I have to start rounding up to 30, but I disagree. Another friend told me that now I can officially call myself an adult because the frontal lobe of my brain is now fully developed....not sure how to respond to that. For what it's worth, the older I get, the more I'm aware that God is faithful and I think that's all that matters in the long run. In fact, I think life can only can sweeter.

The Kelley's and Farrell's threw me a party..it was great fun!

It's been far too long!

2009-09-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

Hey Friends and Fam.....I would generally apologize for such a long blogging hiatus but it's been busy! I have found myself continually in transition mode as I get comfortable here in Florida. It's been fun to get to know people here, explore different beaches with friends and my Florida family, and get settled into a new ministry opportunity! As many of you know, I am planning and part of launching a new worship service for young adults. It is called, "anthem" and if you are interested in learning more, check out the website at www.anthemorlando.com. It's been great fun, a bit stressful lately, but very exciting to anticipate what God will do with this service. We are launching September 20th and have a preview launch on the 13th! Be praying for us, that young adults would come to worship and grow in their understanding of God's word, and in their journeys with Christ. I've included some pictures here to highlight some fun things I've gotten to do this summer....first time snorkeling!! Florida has been a great spot for me, God has provided friends and family here, and He is definitely moving through me during this season of growth for me. More updates to come as the service gets underway!

Molly's birthday in July

The fam came for a visit and we went to Epcot...so fun! Not sure how Spencer got out of this picture!

Great friend Laurie and I goofing off on a mini-vacation to Hutchinson Island and Singer Island with Jeninne and her family

Laurie, Jeninne, and her daughter Lilly at Singer Island

Singer Island, FL....the water is so clear and we got to snorkel around the reef!

Pretty Sure

2009-06-25T18:13:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I'm employed at one of the best churches out there.....had a launch meeting tonight and everyone that came, cleaned up at the end. No questions asked....plus, I didn't even have to think about getting food.....people in the church did it all for me!! Wow....this place know how to support each other!

Grateful that God knows what I need before I need it...

Quick Update

2009-06-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

Hey Friends....sorry it's been forever but here's why...check it out!

www.anthemorlando.com

I'm in the biggest planning portions of our new service launching in September and find myself keeping my head in all things "Anthem". One of these days, I'll give you a really great update!

For now, and since I last updated, I got to celebrate Molly's graduation from pre-school, which was way more fun than my Gordon-Conwell graduation ceremony! And, I've also really enjoyed people down here....the south is much more friendly!!

My Florida Family - The Farrell's and the Kelley's

New Worship

2009-06-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

Well friends....my job is officially underway and I think it's great!! I am starting up a new worship service at the church, geared toward the "20-something" generation. It was a long brainstorming process but our official name for the service is (drum roll please), Anthem!

So, that means I'm beginning to reserach how to advertise and market to this area and it is a crazy time!! If you're interested in following our process, join us on facebook and become a fan at our page. Just search "Anthem Worship"and you'll find us with a picture of a retro microphone.

Oh, this is going to be fun!

Florida

2009-05-30T17:43:00.001-07:00

Well friends,

I'm officially a Florida resident and feeling more at home here by the day! It's been amazing to have friends here who are family to me.....they have made this transition such a breeze and have been gracious in their support and care for me. What a difference from feeling more "on my own" out in Massachusetts. It helps me to continue valuing family even more! (even though their technically not related!...ha, not to me!)

So, there are two special little kids I've been spending a great deal of time with while I've been here and they both have the best stories. However, Molly's young age makes it even more interesting. Yesterday, we were playing in the house and she was hiding in the corner, pretending to be a ghost. I asked the ghost (Molly) what it's name is and she replied, "Ham" (pronounced with a LONG a) and the ghost's nickname was named "bologna" and it's second nickname was, you guessed it, "cheese". So funny!

If I had a better memory I could pass along even funnier stories, but I'm sure there will be many to come! Thanks for all your prayers and support that have brought me to this point.....God is good!

It's official.....

2009-05-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

I am fully graduated and commenced! Here are some photo highlights...it was a great celebration with friends and family!

My great friend from college, Kaitlyn, came out from California for the celebration!
Thanks Kait!

Me and Ang with the giant diplomas!

The fam!

Mom brought glittery 2009 glasses and here's a shot of the cousins and fam wearing them!

Last, but certainly not least, we got to celebrate mother's day with mom live and in person!! That's the first time we were all together for that since I was 17! I have the best mom in the world....she's a hard worker, loves the Lord, she is a great coach and shepherd, and I love laughing with her! Happy mother's day mom!! (just a few days late)

Senior Banquet

2009-05-03T17:06:00.000-07:00

The graduation festivities have begun!! On Friday night we were treated to a great meal at the Marriot Hotel as graduating seniors. It was a fun time of chatting with friends and sharing a some good food together. Let the celebration begin!

Our Table group at the dinner.....although, these were some of my closest friends while here in seminary. Breanne, Brandon (soon to be married!), Aaron, Angie, Kendra and Chris!

The Ladies....Kendra, Angie, Breanne, and Me!

My friend Avonelle has kept me entertained in classes this year! She's been a great friend!

April Highlights

2009-04-30T06:05:00.000-07:00

Hey All.....as all my work has been done for a bit, I have been able to travel around New England and took a quick, whirlwind trip to NYC. Here are some photo highlights:

Trip to Amherst, MA to see Emily Dickinson's house....a favorite poet!

Emily's house....too bad they were doing construction but they are trying to restore and recreate the front hedge that used to be in front of the house.

Times Square! We had a hotel room really close to Times Square...we could see the ball from our room!

Angie and Me.....working the aviator glasses

We got tickets to see Lion King on Broadway and it was so amazing!

Discovery Camping....Round 2!

2009-04-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

I've been teaching another Discovery class at Gordon College this semester and last weekend I took the class camping up in New Hampshire! It was too cold to camp in tents and we were so blessed to have a cabin for the weekend. Amazing!

The Group on the top of Mt. Major

View of Lake Winnipesaukee from Mt. Major

View from the back door of the cabin.....unbelievable

The Group on top of Bald Peak

View of Lake Winnipesaukee from Bald Peak

Field Trip #1

2009-04-16T08:26:00.001-07:00

Because I'm moving in about a month, and because my homework is DONE!, and because it's national poetry month, and because I just feel like it......I'm taking myself on "field trips" in the area to see all the things I have not had the opportunity to see and enjoy during my three years in Massachusetts. So, Monday was a beautiful and was the beginning of a series of "field trips" to come in the upcoming weeks! Hope you enjoy the journey with me!

Stop Number #1 - Lexington-Concord, the road to the revolution!

Old North Bridge in Concord....location where the "shot heard round the world" and the war began!

The Old North Bridge

On the road to Lexington...following the road the British troops fled away from the colonial troops, I encountered first the home of Ralph Waldo Emerson (hence the poetry month)

Emerson's house.....obviously under renovation

The School of Philosophy started by Dr. Alcott (Louisa May's father) in the 1800's

The Alcott's "Orchard House"....just in front of the school of philosophy and "home" of "The Little Women"

The Alcott's "Wayside" home and later home of Nathaniel Hawthorne

A Tavern on the Battle Road to Lexington

The Battle Green in Lexington where the first little episodes of fighting began....but the war had not yet broken out

Stop #2: Walden Pond! Home of Henry David Thoreau

Replica of Thoreau's tiny cabin in the woods

Location of the cabin along the pond

View of the pond from the cabin site...through the trees!

New Beginnings

2009-04-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

Well Friends, God is good and I have a job!! During my recent visit to Oviedo, Florida, I interviewed for a position at University Carillon United Methodist Church (http://www.ucumc.net) and was offered a position to start a new service for twenty-something people in the Oviedo area. The church is located right across the street from University of Central Florida, which is a prime location for this kind of ministry. There is nothing in the area right now for 20-something's at churches, however, the campus ministry "Wesley" is alive and active (and actually housed in the church). I will also have connections with "Wesley" and get involved on a volunteer basis with worship leading, etc. I am so excited and will be able to do some creative worship planning, leading of teams, and teaching as a part of this church position. God knew exactly what I needed and had this position picked out for me. The church is still working out the kinks in order to make this a full time position, but even if I do a little work at Starbucks or a local restaurant (waiting tables) on the side, I believe this is exactly where God has called me. In fact, we have some wonderful family friends who I will have the opportunity to serve with at the church and truly love them as family. Ed and Judy Kelley have graciously offered to house me while I get settled. Tim and Tracey (Ed and Judy's daughter) Farrell are advocates that are already on staff at the church and were instrumental in helping me get connected to this ministry. They are friends that have been around since I was born and are very dear to our family....I am so excited and grateful to have them as support during this next season and as friends throughout the process. I will be moving down to Oviedo sometime in May and will start probably toward the end of the month.

This is a picture of me and Molly, Tim and Tracey's daughter!

Recent Reflections

2009-03-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

I am preparing to head out to Florida on Friday for a another round of interviews, expectant and hopeful but still a bit cautious to wait and see what God has in mind for me. I was sitting at the beach tonight (in the car...it's still freezing!) and was thinking about how God is just as faithful as the tide that will always ebb and flow, or the sun that always rises and sets. I'm thankful I'm not in control and that He is not safe, but most certainly worth trusting. He has been so near....a true companion.....I couldn't be more blessed.

(Plus, I only have a few short weeks until school is out forever!)

Quick Update

2009-03-21T09:05:00.001-07:00

Life is a little full of paper writing and reading to blog with great detail or depth but just thought I'd let you all know how the interviews went. Both the West Virginia and the Philly interviews went well! It was a good practice and helpful experience to have as I continue the search. I'm still not sure what might be next for me but will hear back from these places in the next couple weeks.

In the meantime, I am flying to Florida on Friday to interview for a position with a church and corresponding campus ministry at the University of Central Florida. I am actually really excited about this interview and hope that my time there offers clarity and discernment. We have some great family friends there as well, which promises a great visit to the land of sun and beaches! Can't wait for a little R&R while I'm there....although, I'll definitely still have some reading to do to finish classes in time!

49 days to graduation! Can't believe it!

Just sittin....

2009-03-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

In the Detroit airport, waiting to catch a flight to an interview in Charleston, WV....wish me luck...it's going to be a busy day tomorrow! P.S. If you're interested, the church's website is firstpresby.com!

Recent thoughts

2009-03-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Hey people -
Sorry for the lack of posts these days. I am crunching in on my last few months here at Gordon-Conwell and am loaded with early paper due dates. So, I am a paper writing fool these days and less of a blogger. However, as this season has seemed to be quite overwhelming for me, especially with the job search, I am finding Nicole Nordeman lyrics particularly helpful. From her "Brave" album, she wrote a song called "miles" and it's chorus reflects my present process.

"It may be miles and miles before the journey's clear
there may be rivers, may be oceans of tears
but the very hand that shields your eyes from understanding
is the Hand that will be holding you for miles"

Profound, huh? I'm constantly blown away that there is someone out there holding my hand in this process. Although it is often overwhelming, He continues to remind me I'm not on my own. Hope He is present to you today with that same kind of grace and mercy. Thanks to all of you who hear my complaints and frustrations and tears through this process. I am confident (most of the time) that God is "holding me for miles" as the journey unfolds. Headed to West Virginia and Philadelphia on Saturday for some second interviews...I'd appreciate any prayers you could offer! I'll keep you all updated as the next stage of the journey unravels.

February update....a little late

2009-03-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

February was full of travel...much like November, December, and January! :) It started with some interview with CCO (a campus ministry organization based in Pittsburgh), then off to a wedding in Phoenix, then to LA for a little time with friends (during reading week), and then back to the snow in Boston! It was great fun to be with friends....here are some highlights.

College friends at the wedding - Kim and Angela

College Friends - Erin and Anna

We all lived on the same floor for a couple years in college - BMW's!

The Bride, Rebecca, and Me after it got chilly and we had to add the sweaters to our attire!

On to Los Angeles....making pasta with friends...and a very small strainer...took five times to empty the pot!

Enjoy dinner with great college friends - Kristen, Kaitlyn, and Lauren

"Post-Ski" Party with cousins....of course, none of us were just coming from skiing, although we dressed like it!

More snow....

2009-03-02T10:04:00.000-08:00

Well, I was going to update you all on my travels lately or a few thoughts I have today on what might be next for me.....but, I was faced with two feet of snow on the ground upon waking up this morning and I NO LONGER LOVE THE SNOW!!! It's just no fun anymore!!

But, on a better note, the 19 year old kid that lives in the house I rent from got the snow blower going this morning so I could get out.....that was thoughtful! Soon and very soon, I will be moving away from the land of ice and snow! (still have no idea where I am going but time will tell)

RIP Big Red

2009-02-08T14:12:00.001-08:00

Although I don't make a habit of naming in animate objects, some of my friends talked me into naming my old 1998 Honda Civic Big Red...I know, it's the most creative name you have ever heard. Anyhow, On January 29th it breathed it's last after enduring it's last new england winter storm. So, Honda North was having some spectacular deals and I nabbed a new, 2007 Honda CRV. Not too shabby! If you want to vote on a new name (I'm not promising I'll ever name it) feel free to chime in! P.S. I'm loving this car!

Superbowl weekend!!

2009-02-02T10:16:00.000-08:00

Started off the weekend with a visit from Ashley (friend from JUC)

Yes, it's true....in preparation for the game I separated the m&m's...haha!

Me and Kendra!

Half of the crowd at the game!

Halftime celebration for Breanne and Brandon getting engaged!

Pics from Israel

2009-01-27T05:48:00.001-08:00

Here are some highlights from the trip...if you want to see the whole album, head to facebook.

Jerusalem University College from across the Hinnom valley

Luthren Church of the Redeemer

Old City Walls

Jaffe Gate

Gamla - archaeological site from the 1st century...this was a town destroyed by the Romans in 67AD before they headed to destroy the temple in Jerusalem in 70AD

Me and Adria....my host and tour guide and friend!

Looking out to the sea of Galilee from Gamla...it's to the left but hard to see since it's hazy

Lots of eagles and vultures at Gamla...it was amazing how close they got to us

Still at Gamla - it's technically in the Golan heights region of Israel

The longest waterfall in Israel is up at Gamla

Dome of the Rock on the Temple Mount

Temple Mount courtyard....only a small fraction of it

Church of the Holy Sepulchre - site where Jesus was crucified and buried

My hotel in Madrid....a long layover!

I'm....

2009-01-24T15:13:00.000-08:00

in Madrid, sitting in my hotel room, probably needing to go to sleep but the most amazing and intriguing street performer is singing outside my room. What a day...

Inauguration...how the heck do you spell that?

2009-01-20T11:15:00.000-08:00

So, my ex-patriot friends and I watched the inauguration events streaming live on CNN from across the Atlantic, here in Jerusalem. It was interesting to get their perspective as people who have either not been back to America in almost two years, or have only come home for short visits during the holidays. One point from them...it's amazing what we have done to popularize politics with pop-culture icons, etc. What's also amazing, is that we could even watch the events from many, many miles away. On that note, I hope you all took notice of the benediction. The end of the benediction was full of interesting language choices given the audience. In other words, I didn't like it but can't rant about it on here just in case I want to be the president one day!! :) Besides, he mixed why too much politics with faith...oh man, so much can be said.

In better news, Obama had a nice address and I'm hiking in the Galilee tomorrow!! Can't wait for that...time for bed!!

Lai-la tov (Hebrew for Goodnight)

Highlights and a language lesson

2009-01-19T06:46:00.000-08:00

After a great day at St. Andrew's church for worship in the morning, and an afternoon at the "Tower of David Museum" I was ready for today's agenda. We hit up the "Burnt House Museum" and the "Wohl Archaeological Museum". My friend Adria accompanied me on today's endeavors since she just returned back to Jerusalem yesterday. The "Burnt House Museum" is a small archaeological site of a house that has evidence of the Roman destruction of the upper city of Jerusalem in 70ad. It was a house of a high priest during the Roman occupation of Israel given it's location in the upper city and the kinds of materials they found in the house. Very cool!

The "Wohl Archaeological Museum" is a site of 4 to 6 houses from the upper city, the houses of the rich and famous, during the second temple era. Basically, they were the houses of the rich Sadducees during the time of Christ. There were great mosaics and lots of households items found at the sites that are now on display. It was interesting to see the perfume bottles given the story of the woman who broke the bottle over Jesus, using up her precious item in worship. The bottles were very, very small and refuted any ideas I ever had about the bottle mentioned in scripture. I always thought that since she spent so much money on it, there would be more to it. Not the case. Yet, given these bottles were only recovered at the rich palaces you can imagine the luxury of the item and its small size indicating the rarity of such a purchase.

Last but certainly not least, a few more highlights from interactions with people in Jerusalem:
An Arab guy, a little shady, told me that I was "in good condition" the other day...funny.
On another note, if you ever want a little ego boost, come to Jerusalem with blue eyes and blond hair. One of my friends Arab friends told me, "your eyes are like the ocean, you could just fall in, and the deeper you go, the more you find....you could just keep going deeper and deeper"....also funny.

Anyhow, that's it for today. I do love being in this land and I'm not sure why I enjoy it so much. As they would say in Hebrew:
baruk hashem - praise the name
cola kavote - all the glory

Next time I'll have pictures

Made it to Jerusalem!

2009-01-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

After a long day of flying I made it to Jerusalem last night! The ride in the Sherut (shuttle taxi) was a little harrowing as the driver assumed the roads of Jerusalem were more like NASCAR. However, he managed to deliver everyone safely.

The most interesting part of my travels so far this time around was my little "run-in" with the security at the Barcelona airport. Upon arrival, the Israeli airline I was taking took every precaution as I must have looked strange traveling to Israel by myself these days. Anyhow, I was taken by car to a secluded room in the bowels of the airport to be questioned and to have all of my belongings taken out of the suitcase and put through the scanner. And, when I say ALL I mean ALL of my stuff....including my shampoo and toothbrush! They had me turning on and demonstrating the use of every electronic and telling them over and over again that I study the Christian Bible and am still interested in Torah. The security scan took so long that I almost missed my flight and they said I could either be re-routed through Europe or go get on the plane and have my stuff shipped later. I liked neither option and they heard about that. :) So, it turned out they were able to finish quickly and drive me to the stairs of the plane, checking my laptop in a box under the plane. My driver called me Cinderella as I got to the plane, which was a nice touch after I had be frisked and questioned for quite some time.

Anyhow, I am counting my blessings that I arrived safely and with all of my stuff alongside. It's been interesting getting re-acquainted with the city again. I wandered around the Old City today for a few hours and was reminded of the memories of my time here last year. It is amazing to me that any place can have a sense of home or comfortability after you have spent time there. I'm surprised at how comfortable or "normal" it feels to be here even though it definitely isn't home. It is good to be back and to explore again, even thought the newness of Jerusalem is no longer there. I'm looking forward to Shabbat dinner with other students from my time here as we gather for dinner.

Israel/Palestine

2009-01-10T12:49:00.000-08:00

For those that keep up with this blog...many of you may be wondering how I feel about the current violence in Israel and the Gaza Strip right now after I spent a semester living there. Well, a good friend of mine, who is still living there, said it well on her blog:

http://seaofadria.wordpress.com/

On Wednesday I'm headed back to Jerusalem to visit friends and check out a few things I missed seeing during my time there. I'll be there for about ten days and return on the 25th of January with a quick overnight stay in Madrid. On that note, if you feel so compelled, I would appreciate prayers for safety. Not just for my travel but for those civilians suffering from the violence on both sides of the fight. I trust that God is sovereign and in control of this conflict, and even of my travels. I am not anxious to travel there in any way and will be in Jerusalem the whole time. I am looking forward to a visit with some dear friends and can't wait to be back in a place that I love so much! I hope and pray you are all having a wonderful new year!!

Sorry bout that

2009-01-06T13:52:00.001-08:00

Sorry about such a long post, especially after such a long time not writing anything on here....oh well! Hope you enjoy!

Moses

2009-01-06T06:45:00.001-08:00

Life is difficult when you care about it. Yesterday I had the privilege of having coffee with two of my favorite staff from the summer camp I worked at. They are both sophomores at state schools, one in Boston and the other in Washington DC. It was great to catch up and hear what was going on for them. In the process they shared frustrations on living a Christian life around those that find is easy to live however they desire. As I too find the journey difficult from time to time, as I observe others live what may seem lives of ease. In talking with the girls, we discussed living lives of obedience pushing ourselves to not compromise in areas we see others compromise around us. In doing so, although it can be difficult and lonely, one can breath in the freedom that is offered knowing who we are living for.
We thought of Moses. What if he had been totally obedient to God's call and got to finally enter the promise land. I wonder what that would have been like for him to enter into a place that had be sought after by him and this obstinate people (Israel) for so long. They wandered around for 40 years, in a small region, and were so eager for the land God promised. Moses led such a difficult people around in circles for 40 years because of their disobedience, as he remained obedient. Moses blew it in the end and was not able to enter into this land he had lived his live for in leading Israel. It's a sacrifice to care about how you live your life or what you are living your life for, but in the end, the blessing and freedom experienced in God is worth it. (Photo: Mt. Nebo - entrance into the Promise Land)

Mostly, today, I think caring about life and caring about people is the hardest. Let me offer some song lyrics from a Christian artist that prove to be encouraging. I look to the Lord for freedom and peace.

One Of These Days
Jill Paquette

It's been so long, said it's been too long
Can't remember when I've felt so known
You're so warm; shelter me from the storm
And the fears that are just so cold
They're telling me things get messy when you care
Things are messy everywhere
And don't I know it, don't I show it
Every time I look away
'cause what can I do what can I say
To help myself
Or to help anybody else?
You meet me in my need
You bring new life to me
And you go beyond what I feel
Your life brought more than freedom
Your love brought time just what I needed
To see I needed You
One of these days it will be easier to mean what I say
If I remember each and every day
That this world is not my home and I never walk alone
And before time began my days were known by You

You meet me in my need
You bring new life to me
And you go beyond what I feel
Your life brought more than freedom
Your love brought time just what I needed
To see I needed You
One of these days it will be easier to mean what I say
If I remember each and every day
That this world is not my home and I never walk alone
And before time began my days were known by You

Winter is Here...

2008-12-08T06:30:00.000-08:00

In a really big way. It snowed all day yesterday which is kind of fun.....but then today, it's 11 degrees. That's right, I said ELEVEN! And the wind chill is -3....gotta love it!

However, one last paper to go and I'm off to Seattle for a nice little break and on to Kentucky for Christmas! I can't even wait!! Friday morning, here I come!!

Kendra's wedding

2008-11-28T08:49:00.000-08:00

Another friend got married and I was invited!!! I got to be a bridesmaid again at my friends Kendra and Chris' wedding (they're friends from Gordon-Conwell). I had some other friends in the bridal party and we had a grand time!

Friends from Gordon-Conwell at the Wedding

Angie, Mikayla, Me, Melissa

Me and the bride and groom

Today....

2008-11-21T11:00:00.000-08:00

I'm in the library writing a paper....and I'm wishing I was in another place. Just one of those days...Thanksgiving, I am in need of you!

Happy Birthday!!!!

2008-11-07T11:33:00.000-08:00

My Sister is 27 today!! Yipee!!!

(staying warm at ACL fest...what a great time!)

Times flies....

2008-11-07T11:28:00.001-08:00

when you are having fun. And fun was certainly had in teaching a discovery class at Gordon...not that it has been over for almost a month now, I've finally gotten around to some highlights!

The girls asked to have a small group after the class was over and we started last week....what a treat!

Newsflash

2008-10-28T13:20:00.001-07:00

It is expected to snow at 4am-8am tomorrow.....ugh....it's October and I'm pulling out the ugg boots!

Discovery - final!

2008-10-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

Hey friends....I just finished up instructing my group of 12 freshman out at the ropes course and out on a camping trip in the wilderness. In order to put the finishing touches on our class, each student prepared to share an appreciation, challenge, an exhortation to each other classmate. So, as we gathered for a meal, each student was put on the hot seat and received these thoughts from their fellow classmates. Jared (my TA) and I were included in this and it was such a moving time to watch a community share with one another, showing encouragement and challenges for them as they grow in their relationships with God and in their character. I just finished reading their reflection papers and I was moved by the processes that they went through this semester. One girl in particular has experienced a great deal of social healing through this class and the group of students that formed a community with her. In her reflections she shared that she has overcome being fearful of groups but is encouraged to share more of her story with others, pursuing new relationships, and trusting that God will carry her through. She wrote, "I will not hold back, because He never lets go". Amazing!! I am moved by her beautiful spirit. Here's a great pic of them in action in New Hampshire!Psalm 23:5 - You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Ray LaMontagne!!

2008-10-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

So friends...after a fantastic weekend with college students out in the wilderness I had the privilege of heading to the Boston Opera House downtown for a little concert. One of my favorites Ray LaMontagne was playing and it was quite a show. My friend Beth came along and we had a grand ol time! Here's a little sampling:

P.S. You should all go get his new album....so fun!

Discovery!

2008-10-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I'm instructing a class at Gordon college teaching spiritual, character, and group development using outdoor education elements. In this course, participants are on a ropes course two days a week and then we take a camping trip somewhere within our class time. Well, this past weekend we had the joy of heading up to New Hampshire to see how the leaves had changed and to try to stay warm while camping in the 30-40 degree weather. We hiked some wonderful trails and admired some truly amazing and colorful trees. The leaves had changed up north and we were in for a treat. Click on this link for some pictorial highlights - you won't regret it!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2054569&l=865d7&id=68600710

Did I mention how excited I am for.....Austin City Limits!

2008-09-11T14:58:00.001-07:00

It's been forever!

2008-09-08T08:47:00.001-07:00

Well friends,
It's been too long! August went by in a flash and I just completed my first day back in classes for the fall semester. I'm in my third and final year at seminary and it's wonderful to see the end in sight! However, while I was on a blog hiatus I did a few fun things I thought I would share. We took my dad to the state fair for his birthday while I was home for a visit. Then, upon return to Massachusetts a friend and I took a day trip down to Newport, Rhode Island (only an hour and a half away) and enjoyed seeing the beautiful mansions from the 1600's. Finally, I am instructing a class at Gordon College with incoming freshman. I facilitate a group of 12 freshman as they work through ropes course elements and team initiatives as a way to develop in character and in their relationships with God, both together and individually. The course is right up my alley and I look forward to finishing it out by taking them camping in New Hampshire in October! I'll keep you updated! Here are a few photos that highlight the past month.

That one's for you Dad!! (mom made him put them on...I made him take the picture ;)

Who knew they had Alpaca's at the fair!

Jill and Me walking along the cliff walk with all the mansions on the sea!

My class...putting themselves in order from youngest to oldest while remaining on the log and being told they couldn't speak...they did a great job!

Adventure Camp is over!!

2008-08-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

It's been a little less than a month since I last posted on this here blog....not sure if anyone outside my family reads it anyway....but I owe an update. I have been staying quite busy!! I have been working at camp about 60+ hours a week at a fabulous day camp at Gordon College. I have mainly been working alongside the college-aged counselors and staff members, encouraging them and providing administrative support in running the camp. It was such a wonderful time of using my seminary education to lead devotionals and worship in the mornings which has helped to give me motivation to finish out my education in May! I loved getting to talk with some of the women and getting to be outside on the water, climbing trees in the woods, and rock climbing in the gym. Not too shabby of a summer….Here are some pics of staff that I worked with!

Gull Pond - I spent many afternoons here

80's themed birthday party for my boss!

went cliff jumping with some of the staff...so fun!

Me and Caleb at staff celebration - he was our chef!

Angelica, me and Molly - our waterfront staff!

Kelly and Me

Staff Photo at celebration!

2008-07-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

Over the fourth of July weekend I had the great pleasure of heading down to our nation's capitol to get together with some friends that I spent my time in Israel with. All of the students I went to school with in Israel are now either scattered throughout the states or still over there studying away. My friend Anna and I (who was in Israel and is also a fellow student at GCTS) drove down to Virginia, just outside DC, to join a dear friend Karin!! Walt joined us from Southern Virginia and we had such a wonderful time!!

Walter brought moonshine....It was weird and probably won't be tasted again

We went to a beautiful meadow to watch fireworks and enjoy a fourth of July festival...they had some interesting hats there in the south!

Native Americans at the festival

We journeyed into DC to go to a folklife festival put on by the Smithsonian...it was really fun!

Then we crashed a wedding at the national cathedral.....it was still open to the public even though there was a wedding going on....so bizarre!

The National Cathedral

We finished off the vacation with a little bit of lounging around at Karin's and a little round of pool!

Busy day at work yesterday...

2008-07-03T04:17:00.001-07:00

Ground-current Incident Causes No Injuries to La Vida Adventure Camp Staff

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 2, 2008

MEDIA CONTACT
Kristin Schwabauer
Office of College Communications
kristin.schwabauergordon.edu
978-867-4037

This afternoon, July 2, 14 La Vida Adventure campers in the 14-15-year-old program, along with four adult staff members, were at Red Rock, an outdoor rock-climbing area in West Gloucester, as part of their normal schedule of activities. When the staff learned of the storm coming, they followed the Board of Health Safety Protocols for lightning--to come down from any high area before a storm hits and seek shelter in a building or vehicle. All campers and one staff member got to safety 15-20 minutes before the storm struck.

The campers were waiting in the College mini-bus at the parking lot while three staff members remained at Red Rock to pack up the rock-climbing equipment from the site. While walking along the trail back to the parking lot, at approximately 1:30 p.m., the three staff members felt a ground current from a lightning strike under their feet. Ground current occurs when lightning, hitting the ground, spreads out in all directions along the ground, dissipating as it goes. Though shaken, the staff members did not appear to have been injured, and drove themselves back to the Gordon College campus. In order to be certain that they were allright, they went to nearby Beverly Hospital to be checked out. As of 4:15 p.m., two of the three had been released from the hospital; the third was in stable condition and will be released pending some tests. All La Vida staff are college age or older. The staff members have asked that their names not be released.

For 38 years Gordon's La Vida program has provided adventure-based outdoor education. The goal of La Vida Adventure Camp, in existence for 12 years, is to build character, positive self-identity and a commitment to serve and care for others using small-group experiential learning.

In 2005 and 2006, the La Vida Adventure Camp was named "Best Summer Camp" by Community Newspaper Company's Reader's Choice Awards.

I wasn't one of the injured but I spent the afternoon and evening in the hospital making sure all was well. Nothing like a little lightning to get you all trained just in case I am going to be a chaplain someday!

2008-07-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

My sister tagged me to do this...so now I must indulge my desire to procrastinate!

A - Attached or single: single and taking advantage of it by traveling about!
B - Best Friend: sister and it's too hard to choose the rest!
C - Cake or Pie: Mom's Kentucky Derby Pie (Pecan pie with chocolate chips)..definitely have to echo Sarah on that...plus add her Apple Pie...it's a favorite!
D - Day of the Week: Saturday...I get to sleep in!
E - Essential Item: iPod
F - Favorite Color: Red or Blue...or both
G - Gummi Bears or Worms: worms for sure
H - Home town: Everett - I grew up there, Boston - I live here now
I - Indulgences: Reading magazines like "People", "Outdoors", "Real Simple"
J - January or July?: This Year, January because I'll be in Italy....but usually the answer is July because it's freezing in January.
K - Kids: someday
L - Life is incomplete without: Jesus....yep, I grew up in Sunday School
M - Marriage Date: TBA
N - Number of Siblings: 1 amazing sister
O - Oranges or Apples: Washington Apples!! Except the red delicious
P - Phobias or Fears: I don't know....being stuck somewhere by myself and in a very troubling circumstance?
Q - Quote: "“People who believe they must handle all their problems on their own often refuse to face problems they can’t handle.” – Larry Crabb; “If we have the time to even think about the issue of poverty, we are rich” – Dean Borgman
R - Reason To Smile: God, Family, Friends - spending the summer working with college students while rock climbing, kayaking, mountain biking, and climbing on ropes courses
S - Season: Fall
T - Tag Three: "I don't feel like playing tag today" said a very unruly camper today
U - Unknown fact about me: I have wanted to travel to Australia since I was about 9
V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: oppressor...but I've been considering becoming a vegetarian lately because I have to buy 9 pounds of deli meat every week for camp and it grosses me out....and, BBQ in Texas is very good
W - Worst Habit: lately, it's been moving too much....although, procrastinating is a great second best
X - Rays or Ultrasounds: x-rays....none of that goopy gel stuff all over you
Y - Your favorite food: anything.....and then chocolate chip cookies to polish it off!
Z - Zodiac Sign: Leo, but I don't believe in it

Saturday Night in Freeport, Maine

2008-06-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I had the great privilege of driving up to Freeport, Maine with my dear friend Jill to catch a free concert at the L.L. Bean concert series (we braved the rain but it was worth it). We drove up to catch one of my favorite musicians, Martin Sexton. I've uploaded a little bit of film capturing some of the natives of Maine providing endless entertainment as they danced and then a little bit of the good music that Marin plays. Enjoy!!

I moved.....again!!

2008-06-16T04:13:00.000-07:00

I moved into a room in a wonderful family's home up closer to the Seminary. It makes my commute to Gordon college brief for my summer job as the Assistant Director of an Adventure Camp here. It's been a blast but exhausting so far!! I love the new place and my own space! I only have to share the bathroom with another female tenant but she is great too! Here's some pics of my new room and more from camp to follow!

The view from the back looking at the front door (I have a private entrance to the room). That's a bit of a walk-in closet on the left!

TV nook (free cable!)

Bookshelves and little fridge/microwave when I don't want to cook in the kitchen! The bathroom is where the door is just to the left of the book shelves.

Desk and Bed in the back...the door goes to the porch and on to the kitchen

the view to the right of the front door...there is a huge mirror in the room making it feel bigger

The outside private entrance

The entrance is to the right corner of the picture...this is the side yard...in the back is the small pool

Path to the front yard and front of the house

The house!

the garage...my room is off in the back to the right

Heritage

2008-05-22T07:03:00.000-07:00

The other day I was procrastinating and remembered a conversation I had with my grandma not too long ago. She mentioned that my great-grandfather August left money for an orphanage in Haiti when he passed away. In efforts to see if that orphanage is still in existence, I googled his name....sure enough, one of wickipedia's sister websites had something to say and a photo to offer. They had this picture and a brief synopsis of him being a pastor listed on the page...crazy!

http://wikibethel.bbcde.org/index.php5?title=August_Ballbach

However, Time Magazine reported this story from 1930:

Peddle Larceny

Monday, Oct. 27, 1930

In a countryside famed for pheasants, applejack, cabbages, antique furniture and Princeton University, lies a place called Hightstown, N.J., seat of Peddie Institute, foremost Baptist institution of secondary learning in the country (enrollment: 355). Last week aged Headmaster Roger W. Swetland and Peddie's trustees and alumni were mortified by the unfavorable publicity which three Peddie boys had brought upon their school. In the dead of night three students—August F. Ballbach, 16, Harold G. Newman, 18, Ralph W. Hamn, 16—stole out of the school grounds. For the past three weeks this trio had been enjoying nefarious nocturnal outings unbeknown to the authorities. Excited but confident, they made off down Hightstown's dim little main street. Belted, muscular State troopers suddenly appeared, surprised and arrested them. The charge: larceny, robbery.

They confessed having purloined three automobiles, having held up three people at pistol-point. Total profits: $85.

Nice contrast of stories huh? Guess it's not a bad thing you go from robber to pastor....sounds pretty interesting to me!

First Night at Fenway!

2008-05-21T08:49:00.000-07:00

I finally made it to Fenway!! Last night me and two friends watched the Red Sox beat the Kansas City Royals!! Although we were hoping to catch a game against the Seattle Mariners...a tuesday night at a baseball is nothing to complain about! Fenway is probably the most fun park to watch a game at...the fans are wicked crazy!

Me and Clevette

Me and Chelsa!

Not a bad seat in the house!

Manny and the Green Monster

From Boston to Austin!

2008-05-10T06:38:00.001-07:00

Just after I completed my last final of the semester, I had the lovely opportunity to go to Austin, Texas to soak up the sun and visit my sister and brother-in-law! It was such a wonderful trip and I had an awesome time with my family! Thanks Sarah and Spencer!!

Me and Sarah at the Oasis restaurant over looking the lake!

I had the great privilege of seeing a wonderful friend from Biola who is now living in Texas...it was so nice to see Terri!

I got me some boots!!

Thanks Spencer and Sarah for a great weekend!!! You might have talked me into moving but we'll just have to see about that :)

Chris and Kendra are engaged....

2008-04-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

and I got to throw a party!! My good friends got engaged on Friday and we had a surprise celebration at our apt. It was great fun....to catch some photos, go to this link:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2043743&l=d50b4&id=68600710

here's a free extra credit picture to send you there!

my attempt at Red Velvet cupcakes

Spring is finally here!!!

2008-04-10T18:47:00.001-07:00

It was surprisingly 70 degrees outside and I absolutely loved it!!!!! But...there's a catch. I lasted an entire winter without slipping on ice or falling on my face, but today, while admiring the beautiful weather, I was not paying attention and turned my ankle really bad while walking down a couple steps. Ridiculous....I then spent the rest of the day gimping around with a golfball-like bump forming on my ankle....but still loving the sun! I got to campus a little early this morning (pre-ankle incident) and stopped by the beach to enjoy the sights...here's a couple shots:

The Porch!

2008-04-01T05:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I blogged anything...and this is why. I've been working on a little home improvement project. We have an enclosed porch on the end of the house and it was in REALLY bad shape. I should have taken "before" pictures but didn't make it happen. So, here's some pictures of the work already done.

I patched up the walls.....painted and put the flooring in

The furniture was purchased at IKEA and it was very fun to shop for

The other side of the room....the door connected to the kitchen is on the right
-the white table is still in progress and we need curtains but it's just about finished!

It's snowing...again

2008-03-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

It's March and it's still snowing...I realize that this is all possible in the month of March here in New England. But, I'm starting to wonder if the sun does come out in Spring time....I'm hopeful. Here's a poem my friend Nate wrote that I enjoyed reading as a counter to all this snow!

what if the earth began to halt
its inertia collided at faults
and the globe cracked cleanly in two
like a breakfast egg to match morning brew
the insides traveled out to the sun
as the two halves combine into one
then i could quickly dig through the ground
and descend tunnels until i have found
that my home is but a short climb above
my jerusalem, the city i love

St. Patrick's Day in Boston!

2008-03-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

South Boston goes crazy for St. Patrick's day! We have a very high population of Irish-Americans around her and people line the streets to get into South Boston for the festivities. Every year on the Sunday closest to St. Patty's day there is a big parade about 3 blocks from my house. So, this year we stopped by after church! Here are some of the highlights:

Angie (my roommate), her brother Lee, and our friend Michelle

Folks lined up along the road dressed in lots of green

Boston police showed up in great number! (I'm not sure if anyone was actually working that day...let's hope there wasn't too much crime and under-aged drinking!)

One of the many groups of bagpiper and drum groups!

The Celtics Cheerleaders on the Boston Duck tour boat

St. Patrick himself...the letters underneath said, "Saint Patrick Blesses Us"...we'll see how that turns out

Following St. Patty was the Budweiser cart with the beautiful horses (go figure)

Sam Adams Brewery Trolley...and Sam

There was quite a Star Wars crew...Darth Vader even showed up...I have no idea what the connection is but apparently since the Red Sox won two world series in recent years we are now known as the "Evil Empire"...yep, I'm serious

The consequences of all the drinking.....20 cops on motorcycles showed up at the neighbors...who were sporting a flag of Ireland and who were sitting on the porch at 10am this morning having some Bud light as I walked to my car....oh, what a holiday...I'm sure St. Patrick is proud....or scratching his head in disbelief

Begging

2008-03-14T15:09:00.001-07:00

As I was driving to class tonight (in which I am writing this...don't tell) I was caught at a traffic light that lasted most of the day, when I noticed something very common in major city. A man was walking up and down the rows of cars, holding a sign, and asking for money. The reason he made such an impact on me was the sense of humor in which he had, particularly given his circumstance. His sign read:

"I'm broke and homeless, and need a billion dollars...visa, mastercard, check"

Awesome. If he hadn't have run across the street to catch the next line of cars on an off ramp, I would have reached out and added to his cause with the $5 bill in my pocket. I can appreciate when we can laugh about our lives even when they seem difficult. That's a great reminder for since the weather dudes said it was going to rain and snow this weekend....oh great!

P.S. I'm not trying to make light of this particular person's circumstance....but all of us can appreciate the humor in the midst of it! This is a little more like my circumstance...may not be a bad idea to pay for school!

Up in Flames

2008-03-03T11:40:00.000-08:00

Today I read an article on the CNN website about a town very closely situated next to mine in Washington. Apparently it is being speculated that a group from an Eco-friendly activist group set fire to $2 million dollar homes in Woodinville. All I have to say is, leave it to people in Seattle to set fire to people's homes and lives for the sake of the earth. I almost think they may have done more damage to the ozone layer with all those chemicals and particles of house floating up into the atmosphere as the house went up in flames. I don't know....I could be very, very wrong. Maybe if they burned up the houses for the sake of bringing attention to our habit of consuming in excess as Americans while neglecting the poor, instead of for the sake of the environment, I might be able to get on board. Except, I've never heard of burning people's houses as a good way to make them aware of their need to give back to the earth and the world around them. Ridiculous....Here's the article for those of you not watching this unfold on local tv:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/03/03/seattle.fire/index.html?eref=rss_latest

I think I spoke too soon...

2008-03-01T19:09:00.000-08:00

when I said spring was in the air....I was just lying or having a lapse of judgment. Because, although it is now March I was greeted with snow and rain pouring from the skies last night and upon going downtown this morning. Therefore, I am not thrilled. There is still hope...but I'm not crossing my fingers that it will not snow in May.

P.S. I promise my next blog will be more exciting than a discussion or rant about the weather. I promise...

Spring is in the air....kind of

2008-02-25T14:11:00.000-08:00

Today's high was a nice crisp 45 degrees which meant a couple of things. 1. I could run outside next to the beach. 2. The sun was out in fine form and warmed me up a little more than normal even with snow on the ground. 3. Spring is on it's way!! Although the official Spring season will not begin for quite a while here in Boston, I was grateful for the reprieve from all the snow. After a little jog on the path by the water, I took my camera out for a spin. Here are the results:

The beach by my house

The Boston Harbor Yacht Club

A little park with some cute old guys sitting on a bench

Spring is in the air

A little seagull returning to the North for the Spring

Benches at the Beach

Loving California!

2008-02-22T14:10:00.000-08:00

I took a little mid-winter break back to California to visit friends and the warm weather! Although the weather was little rainy the last couple days, spending time with friends was much needed and so much fun! California and my friends seem to be pulling at my heart strings these days...who knows, maybe I'll move back someday! (no promises girls!)

We went on a little "hike" by the Newport Dunes on a beautiful Monday afternoon! My friends took the afternoon off from work...how nice!

On the "hike".....Lauren, Kaitlyn, Kellee, and Me

Haning out at Beth's place with the girls!

I also got to see lots of other wonderful friends and share great meals together...I just forgot my camera...oops! Thanks friends for the great times!!

Friday!

2008-02-15T13:11:00.000-08:00

I do love Fridays. I usually get very little done but enjoy doing things a little out of the ordinary or something new and adventurous from time to time. On this Friday's menu: baking Cinnamon Raisin Bread. I am not entirely sure what compelled me to bake bread, or Cinnamon Raisin Bread for that matter, but I'm glad I gave it a whirl. I worked out this morning, got ready for the day, and headed to the grocery store to get all of the ingredients. After realizing that the recipe I printed out from Martha Stewart's website calls for a Kitchen-Aid $250 mixer....I did a virtual time warp and sent myself to the "days of old" when they didn't have those silly mixers. I was convinced that one day they used to make bread without mixers...so that's what I did. Here's the final result....and they taste pretty darn good if you ask me!!

Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T06:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!!
Love to you all!

This class I'm taking

2008-02-13T07:39:00.000-08:00

Every Tuesday night I walk into a classroom at 6pm anticipating the learning process that will last until we leave at 9pm. This class is called "Biblical Global Justice". Basically, we discuss the issues of social and Biblical justice while trying to develop an understanding of what scripture has to say about justice and in time, we develop a theology and practice of Biblical justice. The people that make up this class are from all over the world, which is unique to a class at Gordon-Conwell. There is a man from Zimbabwe, a woman from Kenya, several from Korea, a few from China, a man from India, and the list continues. This is quite possibly the most diverse class I have taken in seminary and I love how much it adds to my learning, particularly in this area of study. In doing the reading and listening to the discussion on social justice issues in the world and our role as Christians, based on scriptures mandates to care for the oppressed, I have felt convicted, disappointed in the Church, and encouraged to do my part. Living in the city so far this semester has caused me to be so much more aware of people from other socio-enomic and culture backgrounds. Even today on the bus, I witnessed the business professionals on their way to work paradoxicallly sitting next to the poor and disinfranchised. Holding these issues in balance calls me to remain content that God has placed me in middle class America while requiring me to have a heart for the poor, widowed, and oppressed. How in the world am I supposed to be content knowing I am about to go buy a new TV when the woman next to me on the train doesn't even have lunch today? I am not sure how it all works but I know it often seems overwhelming. So my professors encourages us to sit in the tension between the rich and the poor, to enjoy what we have been blessed with while having a heart for and an awareness of those who have nothing emotionally and physically. While that is a liberating concept for me to consume and digest, I still feel caught in the middle of these issues. I am then called to wait on the day when:

Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”
Isaiah 40:4-5

Oh, Jerusalem...

Yael Naim - Toxic

2008-02-09T10:08:00.001-08:00

Okay, So I came to discover this artist through the new Apple MacBook Air commercial that features her song, "New Soul". However, upon doing further research....I love her stuff! She's totally weird and creative and I like it! This video is a remake she did of Britney Spears' song "Toxic". Listening to it in this remake makes me realize how ridiculous some hip-hop/pop lyrics are and how much they can be cries for help. Anyhow, just thought this was an interesting remake and comparing it to the original makes it even more amazing. If you do decide to look up Britney's video of the song on YouTube, do yourself a favor and only listen to the first 20 seconds. Oh, and one more awesome thing I discovered is that Yael Naim is Israeli!! Crazy! Hope you all enjoy!

P.S. this is what I do when I'm procrastinating....look for new music! I should get back to my reading now!

The Superbowl

2008-02-03T19:58:00.000-08:00

Well friends....it's been a while since I posted...I've been a busy girl getting started on the new semester, getting classes squared away, and figuring out how to get around without a GPS while driving in Boston. At any rate, it has been an eventful day with the big game for the New England Patriots. My roommate and I went to a house of a few friends from church to watch the big game. It was a room full of overzealous football fans and passion New England sports fans. One thing to learn about Boston is their loyalty to their sports teams and there emotional involvement in the lives of the players! This we have learned from their infinity (and mine) for the Red Sox. My roommate is pretty sure she's dating Tom Brady. However, upon eating our fill of football junk food and watching the Patriots lose after a perfect season, these fans turn from extreme enthusiasts to depressed, full of junk food, and feeling sick from both the intake of calories and disgust at the loss of what could have been THE FIRST PERFECT NFL SEASON!! I better go help my roommate get nursed back to sports fan health by watching a few episodes of "Friends" and forgetting the game ever happened. By the way, she says she's dumping Tom Brady....should be an interesting conversation. :)

P.S. For those interested, I changed my degree program from Masters of Divinity to a dual program. I'll end up with a masters of arts in religion and a masters of arts in theology when all is said and done. I'll graduate in the same time (May 2009) and get to focus on more specific interests. My concentration will be in Biblical worship and how the use of media and arts impact spiritual formation. Anyhow, it makes me excited to continue on this educational journey!!

New Beginnings.....again

2008-01-14T10:13:00.000-08:00

Well, as much as I have been so blessed and enjoyed the comings and goings of the past few years of my life, I'm sort of wondering when the changes and transitions will be over. The more I think about it, the more I realize that life is all about change, transitions, and new beginnings. I have been officially moving into my apartment the past week and a half and it seems as if even when I have put everything in it's proper place, the refrigerator has food in it again, and the internet is working, I still am yet to feel settled. I know I have blogged about this before, but I am almost convinced that I am never really supposed to get "settled" anywhere. If I didn't have change or transition, I wouldn't meet new people or discover more about myself, both the put together and the messy parts of me. Sometimes, in trying to put together a new apartment, dorm room, or my new living space I am almost hoping I'll get put together with it. Those moments are the ones that remind me I can't put myself together. That I'll only be on this earth for a fleeting moment and if I worry about trying to fix myself or get things just right, I'll miss the whole point of being someone in need of God. I'm dependent, totally and completely in need. I'm learning I have nothing to prove to the world, to my friends, and family and that I have everything to lay down and give to the one truly in control. So, if you're feeling like me....a little alone, a little not perfect, and little needy, you're exactly where you need to be to fall into the arms of the one who never misses a catch.

Psalm 16
A MIKTAM OF DAVID.
Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.