Don't Mess With Texas

I started this blog in anticipation of journeying along with those of you who are interested in what goes on in my life, whether fascinating or not! :) I posted a few weeks ago about MY plan for what's next. Go to the University of Central Florida, get another Master's degree, and look for ministry positions as I went. However, MY plans are rarely God's plans until I let go and watch His mastery unfold. This season of my life is no exception. After posting about Tim Keller's Book, "The Prodigal Son" and it's impact on me being reminded to "let go" and get "off the throne" of my own life, God moved in a mighty way. Here's the update....I would apologize for it's length, but I'm wordy, so good luck!

A couple of weeks ago a good friend Angie, from seminary, contacted me about some ministry opportunities that might be available within the foundation where she serves as a director of the youth camp. The Foundation for Laity Renewal, offices located in Kerrville, Texas (about 45 min. from San Antonio) was founded by grocery store founder H.E. Butts (laughter welcome) :). He started the foundation in an effort to offer a place for all kinds of people to go to a beautiful location and experience spiritual renewal outside of the day to day chaos. He bought about 2000 acres of land along the River Frio with a great canyon. The foundation has several camps and elements of ministry that it offers. Angie works with the youth camps that host camp mainly in the summer months. However, there is a new 8 million dollar facility being built in the canyon for the family camp. That is where I come in. The family camp has been running for about 4 years now (if I remember correctly) and this new facility is going to expand it's growing potential. There will be two full time positions opening up there in the next year. In the meantime, there is a part time opportunity that I interviewed for last week to support the family camp, assisting the director, leading worship, teaching, and working with the college students that come out to work the family camps. I was offered the part time position last week and my friend Angie even has an affordable living option for me in Boerne, not far from the camp offices. I accepted the job and will be starting Labor Day weekend. Family camp runs select weekends throughout the year with a few week-long camps a couple times a year. I plan to do this part time and may even be used in a few other capacities in different parts of the foundation to fill in the gaps. What's really cool about the family camp is that they offer weekends/weeks at camp for low-income families, wounded military families, and a variety of folks from different walks of life. It's really incredible to me that a camp is able to do so much for all kinds of families.



I am still considering another master's program but I could do that easily part time at the University of Texas, San Antonio, 15 minutes from where I will be living. Time will tell as I'm taking one step at a time with the Lord. I am really excited about this opportunity and the potential that it offers. I won't be able to interview for the full time positions until next Spring but the more I'm connected to the camp in the meantime, the better. Plus, I'm really looking forward to being in the great outdoors more consistently and using the gifts God has given me in many different ways. It is going to be great to live close to my sister and Spencer (1.5 hrs. away), especially as they anticipate the birth of their first little one this fall...yay!! It does feel bittersweet to move again and have to transition once more, especially on my own. I have bounced around the country, mostly for education, and it is just getting tiresome to build relationships and then to leave again. It is with sadness that I leave friends in Florida, but I am looking forward to living closer to family once again.

God has taught me a great deal at each stop so far, maybe enough to write a book someday ;). Moving from place to place is beginning to get old but I know that I will not be truly Home until all is said and done on this earth. In meantime, isn't it an adventure to experience so many places and spaces of this world? That's how I feel today....ask me in a month when I'm packing boxes to move in August!

Such a good thing

I just love Thanksgiving. I think I've even talked about loving Thanksgiving on this blog before. At any rate, I love Thanksgiving because I have the pleasure of spending quality time with family and friends, cooking a delicious meal (usually with mom), watching football, the Macy's day parade, and just getting to be with loved ones all day. The weather in November, no matter where I live, is cooler, perfect for an after dinner walk, and reminds me of how each season changes and the many reasons I have to be grateful.

This Thanksgiving, it's going to get even better! My sister and her adoring husband Spencer are expected their very first little bundle of joy!! They are anticipating the sweet little Whelan baby on November 21st...just in time to snuggle with us on Thanksgiving and enjoy being together. I cannot even wait to be an Aunt and can't even imagine how much fun it will be to have a babe around. We are all so grateful for God's provision with a healthy mom and baby so far, and are continuing to pray they both stay safe and healthy till the little turkey is ready to come out of the oven!.....I know, cheesy...can I call the baby a little turkey too? Probably not, that might be a little too much. We'll just have to find out... :)

Memorial Day!

I was thinking today about we used to do growing up for memorial day. The only real significant thing I did was to go down to the capitol of Washington (Olympia) and play taps for the veteran memorial service with my friend Lauren. We got all dressed up in our band uniforms like good geeks do, and set out to honor those who have sacrificed their lives for our sake...for a cool $20. Not too shabby....except I only did that twice.

In my family, the best way to celebrate memorial day and honor those who have fought and sacrificed for our freedom was to....EAT! We had more BBQ's in our backyard than I can count, come rain or shine in Seattle. This Memorial day is not different, except that I'm not with my immediate family :( and I went to the gym this morning. Gotta burn off what I'm about to eat or is it supposed to go the other way around?! Either way, I'm headed to a friend's BBQ with lots of friends and I cooked some fun gluten-free treats to contribute, that we all can enjoy. I made some baked beans and my new favorite: Almond Crunch Blueberry Pie!! :) Yum, doesn't seem to do it justice.



For those of you who suffer from Celiac disease, or for those who love a sweet treat in the Gluten-Free version, I've included the recipe.

Almond Crunch Blueberry Pie (GF version)

Crust:

Purchase store bought GF crust (easiest way to get a good GF crust)

• make sure it’s mostly thawed before putting in filling

Filling:

• 3 cups of fresh or frozen blueberries, thawed and drained

• ¾ cup of sugar

• 1/3 cup Pamela’s Gluten-Free Baking and Pancake flour mix

• 1/8 tsp. salt

• 2 large eggs, lightly beaten

• ½ cup sour cream

• ¼ tsp. grated lemon peel

• ¼ tsp. grated orange or tangerine peel

• 2 tbs. cornstarch to thicken – just stir into the mixture

Topping:

• 1/4 cup butter, softened

• ½ cup sugar

• ½ cup Pamela’s gluten-free baking and pancake flour mix

• 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon

• 1/3 cup chopped almonds

Preheat the oven to 375°. Mix together the filling either by hand or in a stand mixer with the paddle attachment. Pour the mixture into a thawed GF pie crust. Mix together the topping and sprinkle it on top of the pie so that it covers the filling. Bake in the oven with a cooking sheet underneath to catch any running blueberries , for 45-60 min. Keep an eye on it because it may finish in 45 min depending on your oven. Just make sure the topping is golden brown all over. Cool, slice, and enjoy!

Happy Memorial Day!

Celiac and the Pizza Lover

This post has little to no consequence but may in fact make your day.

Last night I was feeling quite hungry for a good pizza. However, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease last August making any bready or breaded substance lethal to my small intestine (and turns out, makes me crazy...literally, I get irrationally fearful). The good news is that I had just recently discovered a pizza chain in our town has gluten-free crust and friends, it does not disappoint. I've tried BJ's gluten-free crust, which is good, but this one is so much better!!

Don't let Mellow Mushroom's psychedelic decor stopped you from enjoying their tantalizing GF crust. Trust me, even my roommate thought it was good and she can eat any bready goodness she wants. If you or someone you know has celiac disease tell them to run, not walk, to Mellow Mushroom for some delicious pizza goodness. And yes, Sarah, they have one in Austin!

Be Encouraged

This week I entered in. I entered into the depth of emotion that I was experiencing with hopes to find clarity and understanding to its purpose. Entering in, I allowed myself to feel the pain and depth of emotions that have been pushing the envelope of my life. For the past four moths, I have been attempting to figure life out, answer my own questions, control some outcomes, be judgmental of myself wanting to fix my own issues. Sounds familiar? This type of behavior is not new to me. Throughout my short life, thus far, I have battled tendencies to live like the “elder brother” we find in the story of the prodigal son in the gospel of Luke. (read here)

For those of you that may not know the story, let me summarize. The younger brother of two sons of a wealthy and prominent father squanders his inheritance and sows his wild oats far from the land his father lives. Not only has he disgraced his father and family by asking for his inheritance early, but he has essentially ruined his life living frivolously and indulgently. As he comes home ready to do anything needed to repair his relationship with his family, with his tail between his legs so to speak, his father shamelessly runs out to him throwing social customs of dignity out the window. The father lavishes upon the son and calls for the fattened calf and a banquet to be held. All the while, the elder brother grows indignant, puts himself on the seat of judgment, and refuses to honor his father and brother at the party. He has remained morally sound and served the father asking very little. Unfortunately, his sin of living morally without embracing the love of the father already doled out to him on a daily basis, keeps him from joy while living a life of anger, fear, and anxiety.

With the help of Tim Keller’s book, “The Prodigal God,” and the work of the Holy Spirit, I hate to admit it, but I have seen myself in the elder brother. Over the last four months, I have done my part to morally uphold my beliefs, yet doing so frustrated and angry that the results I hoped for were going seemingly unanswered. I have grown anxious because my ways of coping with the challenges of life were only leaving me anxious and fearful about the future. My sin has left me distant from the Lord, not the other way around, and my sitting in the seat of judgment over my own life has left me far from joyful.

However, I have learned that it’s God’s kindness and love that brings us to true repentance. And so, as I read this story in scripture again, I was reminded that my savior has already accomplished my salvation and regardless of my failures, incompetence’s, or inconsistencies, His forgiveness still stands and His grace still covers me. I’m not sure how many times I will learn this lesson in my life, but every time I am shown how I try to control God or put myself on the throne of my life, God’s grace takes on new shape and what He did on the cross for me takes on new depth in me spiritually.

Tim Keller’s reminder to me in his book is to remember the power of God’s love in the sacrifice of Christ and to rest there…..sitting in the joy of His love. Seems like such an easy choice to make, but somehow I forget to rest. Here’s the quote from the book that did it for me:

“The choice before us seems to be to either turn from God and pursue the desires of our hearts, like the younger brother, or repress desire and do our moral duty like the older brother. But the sacrificial, costly love of Jesus on the cross changes that. When we see the beauty of what he has done for us, it attracts our hearts to him. We realize that the love, the greatness, the consolation, and the honor we have been seeking in other thins is here. The beauty also eliminates our fear. If the Lord of the Universe loves us enough to experience this for us, what are we afraid of? To the degree we “see his beauty” we will be free from the fear and neediness that creates either younger brothers or elder brother.” (page. 99)

“We never stop being younger being younger brothers or elder brothers until we acknowledge our need, rest by faith, and gaze in wonder at the work of our true elder brother, Jesus Christ.” (pg. 100)

Thus, the song of my heart and the praise on my lips becomes:

Update

Well friends, it seems an update would help offer some context and set the tone for what you might find on my blog these days.

About four months ago, I left a ministry position at a church here in Florida where I helped brainstorm and launch a new worship service. I was there for about a year and a half but knew without a shadow of a doubt that God was calling me away from that ministry after some changes were being discussed. Just after leaving a began a season of discernment on what might be next for me. I traveled up to the northeast for a little road trip with my roomy visiting family and friends, while also meeting with a guy named Bob Perkins. Bob is the visionary behind "Vision for your Life" which helps folks determine how to best use their gifts and talents in the work force. During the process Bob had me writing my life history, taking some personality/psychological assessment tests, and doing quite a bit of digging into my personal life. This process helped me to discover that at the very core of who I am and who I was created to be, my "core motivator" in life is to "care" for others. This discovery was not a total surprise but more of a spoken reality about my nature. With this reminder about what I loved about my time as an Resident Assistant in college, and ministering to the needs of others in church ministry, I'm headed back to school! Bob and I both agreed that pursuing more education was necessary to pursue more of the counseling route in ministry. I'm not sure what God might have but I know that taking roles where I serve more in a counseling/pastoral role in the lives of others will be more fulfilling for me and truer to the nature of who I am. This will require more education....good thing I'm a little bit of a nerd!

At this point, I have applied to the University of Central Florida for their Master's in Social Work program which will further lead me to become a licensed marriage and family therapist. Given the large amount of applicants it could be another month before I hear whether or not I'll be starting there in the fall. Hopefully, this will be my next mascot:

In the meantime, I've been sitting very still and waiting on what's next. I have no idea if I'll get into UCF and no idea what to do if I don't get in. I'm doing my best to trust God but sitting still has never been my forte....just ask my folks. I'm hoping I'm learning some good things in the process and I'm going to do my best to share them with you!

Genesis

Genesis is a word that represents to many people a "new beginning." For some the word Genesis recalls images of the sweet action 1995 SEGA genesis, a new version of the Genesis car, the name of a super-hip 2002 church plant down the street, and for some it's the name of a rad and totally rockin 70-80's band (thank you phil collins and peter gabriel).


But for me, it represents or reminds me of something I've heard about my whole life, literally: the first book of the Bible.

Genesis is an epic book of creation, fall, and the beginning of a narrative where God pursues, woos, loves, forgives, and lives in relationship with a people who couldn't be farther from perfect. We hear about people/stories like Adam & Eve, Noah & the ark, Abraham & Sarah, Hagar (one of my fav stories!), Isaac, Jacob, Joseph & his crazy brothers, Cain & Abel. The Bible is off to a grand start with this incredible book.....I love it.

Today, my Genesis, is a new journal beginning. I've restructured the idea of this blog (at least in my mind) and am pursuing a more intentional way of expressing thoughts, prayers, and contemplations of God's word. I am in a particularly challenging season of life, and beginning to really embrace it. I'm in a season of waiting, a time of discernment, and a time of great stillness and quiet. While these are all good things, some days are more challenging than others. It goes without saying that these times are to be expected in life as we grow. Therefore, I need an outlet and a means to track God's work in my life. This time of growth, hopefully, will draw me nearer to the person God created me to be.

You will hear more about the processes I'm going through and what I'm hearing from God, or not hearing consequently. Know this: I am writing this blog for my own need to process, but my hope is that someone out there in cyber-diary world might be encouraged to know someone else is moving through the same season or that my reflections on the character of God might be something you need to hear. My plan is to be honest, forth-coming, and hopefully funny from time to time. Friends....let's journey together....may God meet us along the road.