Be Encouraged

This week I entered in. I entered into the depth of emotion that I was experiencing with hopes to find clarity and understanding to its purpose. Entering in, I allowed myself to feel the pain and depth of emotions that have been pushing the envelope of my life. For the past four moths, I have been attempting to figure life out, answer my own questions, control some outcomes, be judgmental of myself wanting to fix my own issues. Sounds familiar? This type of behavior is not new to me. Throughout my short life, thus far, I have battled tendencies to live like the “elder brother” we find in the story of the prodigal son in the gospel of Luke. (read here)

For those of you that may not know the story, let me summarize. The younger brother of two sons of a wealthy and prominent father squanders his inheritance and sows his wild oats far from the land his father lives. Not only has he disgraced his father and family by asking for his inheritance early, but he has essentially ruined his life living frivolously and indulgently. As he comes home ready to do anything needed to repair his relationship with his family, with his tail between his legs so to speak, his father shamelessly runs out to him throwing social customs of dignity out the window. The father lavishes upon the son and calls for the fattened calf and a banquet to be held. All the while, the elder brother grows indignant, puts himself on the seat of judgment, and refuses to honor his father and brother at the party. He has remained morally sound and served the father asking very little. Unfortunately, his sin of living morally without embracing the love of the father already doled out to him on a daily basis, keeps him from joy while living a life of anger, fear, and anxiety.

With the help of Tim Keller’s book, “The Prodigal God,” and the work of the Holy Spirit, I hate to admit it, but I have seen myself in the elder brother. Over the last four months, I have done my part to morally uphold my beliefs, yet doing so frustrated and angry that the results I hoped for were going seemingly unanswered. I have grown anxious because my ways of coping with the challenges of life were only leaving me anxious and fearful about the future. My sin has left me distant from the Lord, not the other way around, and my sitting in the seat of judgment over my own life has left me far from joyful.

However, I have learned that it’s God’s kindness and love that brings us to true repentance. And so, as I read this story in scripture again, I was reminded that my savior has already accomplished my salvation and regardless of my failures, incompetence’s, or inconsistencies, His forgiveness still stands and His grace still covers me. I’m not sure how many times I will learn this lesson in my life, but every time I am shown how I try to control God or put myself on the throne of my life, God’s grace takes on new shape and what He did on the cross for me takes on new depth in me spiritually.

Tim Keller’s reminder to me in his book is to remember the power of God’s love in the sacrifice of Christ and to rest there…..sitting in the joy of His love. Seems like such an easy choice to make, but somehow I forget to rest. Here’s the quote from the book that did it for me:

“The choice before us seems to be to either turn from God and pursue the desires of our hearts, like the younger brother, or repress desire and do our moral duty like the older brother. But the sacrificial, costly love of Jesus on the cross changes that. When we see the beauty of what he has done for us, it attracts our hearts to him. We realize that the love, the greatness, the consolation, and the honor we have been seeking in other thins is here. The beauty also eliminates our fear. If the Lord of the Universe loves us enough to experience this for us, what are we afraid of? To the degree we “see his beauty” we will be free from the fear and neediness that creates either younger brothers or elder brother.” (page. 99)

“We never stop being younger being younger brothers or elder brothers until we acknowledge our need, rest by faith, and gaze in wonder at the work of our true elder brother, Jesus Christ.” (pg. 100)

Thus, the song of my heart and the praise on my lips becomes: