I'm an Aunt!

So this is old news for those of you that follow me of facebook, but since I can, I figured I'd just let you all know here on the blog that my little niece is adorable and perfect (as far as we're concerned)! Proud much? ;)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Meet Adele Grace Whelan

Proud grandparents, Pappy and Nanna

Another set of proud grandparents, Grandma Jan and Papa Ron, and their son, the proud daddy

just a couple hours old

Auntie Em

One of the few sad faces...she;s a happy baby!

Nanny meets Adele in the hospital

Gucci and Adele meet for the first time....I think they like each other

Thanksgiving day...so much to be grateful for!

Mommy and Babe...lots of love!

As the deer pants.....

This summer I turned 27. I asked for a necklace I had been eyeing online from a gal who makes her necklaces by hand. The necklace was going to be a manifesto of sorts, for the year to come. It was going to be a reminder and a goal to reach for. The necklace was going to be all of these things because I couldn't create for myself the hope I needed. Emily Dickinson's famous quote about hope is etched into a metal tag on the necklace, with a delicate pearl and a stamped feather accompanying the words. It says, "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul." Of course, this isn't the complete poem that the line comes from, but it's words have significance for me.

Birthday money came along and I ordered up that necklace with great joy and excitement about all the hope it would help me create. We all know how this story goes....hope is not something we can create on our own, right?

It's been two and a half months since I bought that necklace and I've been wearing it frequently. However, the more I wear it, the more I reflect on what it really means.

I get this picture of the most beautiful bird, clothed in vibrant colors, singing cheerful and soothing tunes, perched delicately on the window sill in my soul. It sings comforting songs that offer joy and peace, even lingering in the shadows, persistent and pure.

The only problem with this bird of hope is it's neighbor, grief. Grief has found her place in my soul as well. Grief is a sad old woman, clothed in dark robes, shadows covering her face, hiding the wrinkles that reveal pain endured. Grief is heavy and doesn't often move. She sits and steals the songs of her neighbor, the hopeful bird, and packs them away in the dark recesses of my soul, making them impossible to hear. Grief cries from her step in my soul and digs deeper than I ever imagined she could go when I invited her in. I am not sure who gave her permission to shoo away her neighbor bird, but when she does, the bird flies from it's soul perch and I am immediately aware of the sadness grief requires of me.

What would it look like for grief and that sweet, delicate, little bird of hope to sit and stay for a while? Just when I get accustomed to either voices speaking the truth I need to hear, one is silenced by the other. Grief isn't all bad, requiring me to be cry for the things in my world that need some tears, but isn't it hope that makes grief possible to endure?

The Psalmist David knew this tension better than anyone as we witness the emotional extremes he endured in the Psalms he wrote. Psalm 42 is not just a lament, but a call for God to be his hope, and David found the strength and courage to praise God, despite that he often felt forgotten by God. I find it interesting that in that same passage David acknowledged his need for the stream of living water only God could provide despite his desert wandering.

There is a certain death to self that brings life, but not without grieving what has been lost and diving into what David called, "deep calls to deep." I suppose it is God's mercy that makes it possible to enter grief and His hope that makes it possible to endure.

Perhaps grief and hope are both dwelling in my soul after all.

Psalm 42
¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
under the protection of the Mighty One
with shouts of joy and praise
among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

*photo courtesy of: http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/hope-is-the-thing-necklace-P65C32.aspx

Weekend in the trees

Fall has descended upon Texas....and I love it!!

I spent the weekend out at camp, which I do every other weekend, and loved driving through the river (yes, we drive through the river) observing the change and vibrant colors of the leaves. It was fantastic. They were not quite as brilliant as the trees I walked through in my days at Gordon-Conwell up in the Boston area, but I'll take what I can get. Here's one photo our photographer took out there this weekend.


Doesn't it make you feel refreshed just looking at it? I walk away from camp every weekend feeling a little more like myself. It's a very good thing.

Weekend Update

Sometimes I wish I was as funny as Tiny Fey and as you read the title of this blog, you'd jump for joy at the coming sarcasm and jokes that make millions. Unfortunately, you'll have to settle for the literal interpretation and the non-SNL update....this is literally an update on my weekend.

But it gets even better. My college friend Rebecca, who I have the joy of sharing life with here in San Antonio (at least for this year), did a wonderful job cataloging our weekend away. We hit the road with her sweet husband, and went to Houston to visit one of his college friends and see that area of Texas for ourselves. Actually it was more like Seabrook and Galveston, but who's counting. She documented our weekend away with charm and gusto over at her blog that I think you should visit! Weekend update: here

Our trip was a Saturday to Sunday whirlwind but we had a great time! But if it was just a Saturday to Sunday trip you might be wondering what else I do with my time in my "minimally" employed state :). Thanks for asking. I'm a sign making machine! That's right....signs. Not the type of "signs" you find in the New Testament, the plain old wooden ones. I was inspired by some friends of mine, Andy and Tara Lowry. They have a ton of creative juices flowing through their home and I first copied one of their creations, the city sign, that Tara blogs about on her fabulous and insightful blog. Here's my take on the city sign:


Tara and Andy are also making these awesome "Family Rules" signs that you can order from them on Tara's blog. Just click on this word, "link", and go check it out. She's even giving one away, some with Christmas words on them. Go order one!!!

I'm not sure Tara and Andy should have showed me how to make these signs because now I'm coping their original idea and making all kinds of signs for friends and family. Here's the one I made for my soon-to-be niece's nursery:


Right now I'm in the process of making one for a friend as a Christmas present and making a small one that is going to be a fun little Christmas decoration just for me! Can't wait to post the final products! Maybe I should start selling these babies and call this my other part-time job because Lord knows they take awhile to make! :) Hope you all had a great weekend and are doing things you enjoy.

The Great Comforter

Last night, as I was laying in bed and saying some prayers I could hear the sound of the cars traveling along the highway a few miles away. It was not a sound that was unfamiliar, but one that brought me back to the upstairs room in one particularly comforting home.

Every Christmas growing up we went to Nanny and Pappaw's house on a sprawling 135 acre beef cattle farm, in what seemed like the "middle of nowhere" Kentucky. Despite Frankfort being the capitol city, this Seattle girl was far from her childhood suburb, but felt right at home in the open spaces and southern drawls. My sister and I shared one half of the upstairs, in two twin beds that Nanny had to buy once she found out we did less sleeping and more fighting in that full size bed. We'd lay in bed and fall asleep to the sounds of trucks along the highway, the only indication that a more bustling world was not far away. We would wake up to the smell of Nanny's biscuits, bacon, and sausage, and come down the stairs to find her dressed in that same blue "housecoat," with matching "houseshoes" shuffling along the wooden kitchen floors. She'd smile and say, "how's my girl? Sleep good?" and I'd be embraced with a hug and the warmth of the kitchen stove. The day would be spent exploring the pastures, jumping through hay bales, and maybe a horse ride or a trip into town. The smell of the cows is not hard for my brain to recall but the adventures along the creek that run through those fields, seems more vivid and breathing with life. Each evening spent in the den, watching TV and visiting, sitting with family and settling in.


Imagining that farm and that house was all it took for me to feel embraced and comforted last night. There is a reason God told the Israelites to remember His faithfulness with great repetition. He knew it would be hard for them to remember when the desert grew hot and nourishment was hard to find. He knew they would begin to question His goodness as they wandered to the land of the living. Somehow I imagine some of them needed a bit of comforting as they wandered, feeling lost, and uncertain that God's promises would become reality. In my own seasons of desert, I too forget that God's faithfulness is real and I do need His comforting and encouragement to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Gratefully, His mercies are new every morning and even if I cannot see His faithfulness or provision for me in the future or even in my present, I can see His goodness in my past and be comforted by memories in the past. Perhaps of the farm or grandparents who walk so closely with Jesus you feel a little more connected with Him after time with them. Nanny always said, "God is good, this I know for sure". Her words are spoken with tremendous life experience as she has seen her fair share of deserts and hard places. Her faith has seemingly not wavered but reminds me to let go and trust a God that comforts and provides.

2 Corinthians 1:2-7

² May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. ³ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. ⁴ He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. ⁵ For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. ⁶ Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. ⁷ We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

Come to Me

This morning I sat by the river in Boerne. It's grown muddy and dark with the reality of drought all around it. Dry and brittle trees, cracking soil, and ducks scavenging for any morsel of nourishment along the banks. My soul identifies with this river today. Discouragement wants to take precedence in my heart and challenge the quality of my thoughts. Satan speaks lies of insecurity, hopelessness, fear, and doubt. It's thinking about the future that often pulls me from Christ's presence in my present, doubting his faithfulness and struggling to trust that He does not withhold His best for me.


Passers by bring slices of bread for the ducks, hoping to sustain them just a little bit longer as they wait for the land to be nourished once more, and provide the life they need to remain. the Lord reminds me, He is the bread of life, my stubbornness stands hard to receive yet my heart asks for a soft and gentle spirit. There is a child that hands each crumb of crust to the ducks as they wait patiently and dance eagerly for their sweet bite. But if I were the duck in my demanding ways, I'd ask for the girl with the bread to come to me. Didn't Jesus say it's the other way around for the weary and brokenhearted?



Yet still, an older duck crosses my path, limping along to the bread nearly 50 ft away. This duck stops, turns, looks me in the eye as to say, "perseverance isn't about waiting for life to come to you, but to inch your way to it, tiny step by tiny step". Her age and wisdom tell her to move slowly and persistently to the bread, the bringer of life. She stops for a minute to recoup, but steps forward as long as it takes. There is purpose in her steps and motivation in her heart, knowing the nourishment is there if she just puts one foot in front of the other and opens her mouth to receive. And she arrives just in time for the smallest bit of bread, but somehow stands proud, more for the journey than for the small fulfillment of bread at the end of the road.

Lord, that my heart would stand proud of the journey and less consumed by the future promise. Give me a grateful heart that receives life along the way as I attempt to limp along as best I know how. Offer hope in the discouragement and trust despite the lies I hear. For you say to me this morning by the river,

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, Emily, you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28, 29 NLT)

Wait patiently for the LORD.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. (Psalm 27:14 NLT)

Showered!

Despite the challenges of moving, the emotions of transition and change, there is a great joy in living close to family. Especially when said family is expecting a new baby....their first one! I was blessed to be a part of showering the couple with exciting new things to fill their nursery and prepare them for the sweet baby girl, due Nov. 14 (unless she makes an early appearance, of course). A highlight of the shower for me was speaking with a few "seasoned" moms as they inquired about excitement in being a new Auntie Em. One shared the unique love and relationship Aunts get to have with their nieces and nephews, and I have to say bits and pieces of that are already being stirred in my heart. I did not expect to be so taken with a baby I have not been introduced to, but I'm finding myself more and more attached. Isn't it strange, and beautiful, that God stirs our hearts to love what He has created, without condition, just because He created it? I think I'm going to LOVE being an Auntie Em! Here's a little a poem I wrote to attach to a gift I made for the little one's nursery....

Oh the adventures we will have
Me and you
And teddy bear too

We’ll sing and dance
And play all day
Every game, just your way

Splashing in the water
Dreaming and making friends
Until, my niece, each day ends

You are loved so much
I can’t wait to be your Auntie
A special place in my heart
Is always saved for you my sweet niece

Here's a song you should listen to while looking at the photos from the shower...listen for the heartbeat at the beginning of the song. It's the song writer's daughter during an ultrasound...amazing!

Sarah's Austin friends pulled out all the stops for this shower...so fun to work with them and get to know them!