Truly Advent

Waiting is not an unfamiliar concept to me, despite the trend of instant gratification in our culture. This year has been one of waiting to hear the voice of God, to know what might be next in my personal and vocational journey, or even to experience what Jesus promises is the peace that passes all understanding. We all wait for something; I am not alone in my waiting. Maybe we wait for the grass to get greener, like on the other side of the fence. Perhaps we are waiting for the darkness to lift in our weary souls or for oppression to cease and God’s mercy to redeem. Whatever the waiting, having patience and hope in our world’s broken state is the hardest part.

Waiting was not unfamiliar to the people of God in Scripture. The Israelites were accustomed to waiting, and grew wounded, tired, ungrateful, and impatient in doing so. They were promised a redeemer, one born of a virgin, to come with healing in His wings, or in the original Hebrew language, the “corners” of his garment. He would lift them out of their oppression, brokenness, and place them on top of the world, in a bright shining city on a hill. He would save their lives through His grace, giving salvation and redemption to a world weary of waiting, losing hope.

Sometimes in my waiting, I forget to see the gifts in front of my face, like the first-world, lavish conditions I live in. I forget that I eat three meals a day and have more left for another. I have family and friends that love, understand, and truly know me. I can read, write, and express myself without fear of losing my life for speaking what I believe to be true. Sometimes, when the waiting is almost unbearable, I even forget that regardless of the world around me, there is One who loves me unconditionally, and offered the gift of His Son that I might know eternity with Him in Heaven. Somehow, the weariness of my soul wins, and I find myself identifying with Israel in their waiting. Impatient for my Redeemer to be done healing my broken heart or mending the ways I see pain in the world.

This Christmas, I suppose it is important for me to have seen darkness, to know pain in the world or brokenness in my soul. To become familiar with the struggle and tension of waiting for the Israelites is only half of the story. Identifying with the pain and suffering of Christ paints a new picture for me of what He did becoming the “light of the world”. At Christmas I get to remember the waiting of the Israelites and be reminded that we will continue to wait for the return of Christ to us, honestly hoping for Heaven. Just like the weary world rejoiced as Christ came once long ago, He will come again. Just as He brought the law of love, and the Gospel of peace, He will come again to bring completion to the redemption of the world, and even my soul.

His light, in Christ, is what we see now on that city on the hill and what we will see made new in us as we allow Him to change our hearts. The light He brings asks nothing of us to earn it, but invites us to “taste and see” its goodness even now. Will you join me in celebrating the gift of God’s light in a dark world through Christ this Christmas? And will you remind me to continue hoping for heaven when I seem to forget that the best gift has already been given?

Gratefully,

Emily

Had to include this because she's so darn cute!!

The Potter and His Clay

My neighbor and I went on a walk about a month ago and I have been thinking about something she said ever since. We were talking about the healing and redeeming God does in our lives. Sometimes “rebuilding” seems to be a better word for it. She said something along the lines of, “God’s redemption of our lives takes the whole lifetime.” He’s constantly in the business of rebuilding, renovation, and recreating.

I have been spending a lot of time holding my newborn niece these days. She is fragile, tiny, with miniature fingers and toes, making sweet sounds, and is vulnerable in this life stage. It reminds me of my own soul’s fragile and vulnerable nature, and the ease with which it is broken or shattered. I’ve prayed that God would break my heart for what breaks His. I just didn’t realize it was my broken heart that needed tending to.

Sometimes when I am in a broken place, I see the Lord at His potter’s wheel. He has picked up the pieces of my soul named anger and pride, the ones with sharp edges and jagged sides. He lingers over the pieces with gutted insides, named insecurity and rejection. He picked up those pieces scattered about that I thought He had long since forgotten, hurtful words and lies I have believed. He gathered those dried out and sharp shards, and begins to see something new. Collecting much needed moisture from my tears of sadness and grief, He begins to turn the mixture into malleable clay.

Sitting before that potter’s wheel, the One who sees acknowledges each detail and knows the perfect place for each piece as He begins to rebuild. With gentleness and grace He leans His hands into my clay soul’s sides, with perfect pressure at each point. He spends hours shaping, more so, perfecting.

With indignation I ask Him why He made my clay soul so fragile, so easily breakable. Why not make a concrete disposition or one not so quick to fret with life’s shifting sands. He coolly speaks the truth that if He did, I would have no need for Him altogether. It’s that moment of the conversation I’m having with the great potter that He tells me He’s a good and trustworthy artist. Duly humbled, I acknowledge that this potter works with care, purpose, and trustworthy goodness. This potter, after all, is the great comforter, wonderful counselor, almighty God, everlasting Father, the prince of peace.

So then, in this lifetime of being rebuilt, re-crafted, newly shaped, my prayer becomes:

Lord, let my soul be breakable enough in the places it needs, but not so fragile that the shattered pieces cannot be picked back up once more.

2 Cor. 4:7-10; 16-18

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

I'm an Aunt!

So this is old news for those of you that follow me of facebook, but since I can, I figured I'd just let you all know here on the blog that my little niece is adorable and perfect (as far as we're concerned)! Proud much? ;)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Meet Adele Grace Whelan

Proud grandparents, Pappy and Nanna

Another set of proud grandparents, Grandma Jan and Papa Ron, and their son, the proud daddy

just a couple hours old

Auntie Em

One of the few sad faces...she;s a happy baby!

Nanny meets Adele in the hospital

Gucci and Adele meet for the first time....I think they like each other

Thanksgiving day...so much to be grateful for!

Mommy and Babe...lots of love!

As the deer pants.....

This summer I turned 27. I asked for a necklace I had been eyeing online from a gal who makes her necklaces by hand. The necklace was going to be a manifesto of sorts, for the year to come. It was going to be a reminder and a goal to reach for. The necklace was going to be all of these things because I couldn't create for myself the hope I needed. Emily Dickinson's famous quote about hope is etched into a metal tag on the necklace, with a delicate pearl and a stamped feather accompanying the words. It says, "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul." Of course, this isn't the complete poem that the line comes from, but it's words have significance for me.

Birthday money came along and I ordered up that necklace with great joy and excitement about all the hope it would help me create. We all know how this story goes....hope is not something we can create on our own, right?

It's been two and a half months since I bought that necklace and I've been wearing it frequently. However, the more I wear it, the more I reflect on what it really means.

I get this picture of the most beautiful bird, clothed in vibrant colors, singing cheerful and soothing tunes, perched delicately on the window sill in my soul. It sings comforting songs that offer joy and peace, even lingering in the shadows, persistent and pure.

The only problem with this bird of hope is it's neighbor, grief. Grief has found her place in my soul as well. Grief is a sad old woman, clothed in dark robes, shadows covering her face, hiding the wrinkles that reveal pain endured. Grief is heavy and doesn't often move. She sits and steals the songs of her neighbor, the hopeful bird, and packs them away in the dark recesses of my soul, making them impossible to hear. Grief cries from her step in my soul and digs deeper than I ever imagined she could go when I invited her in. I am not sure who gave her permission to shoo away her neighbor bird, but when she does, the bird flies from it's soul perch and I am immediately aware of the sadness grief requires of me.

What would it look like for grief and that sweet, delicate, little bird of hope to sit and stay for a while? Just when I get accustomed to either voices speaking the truth I need to hear, one is silenced by the other. Grief isn't all bad, requiring me to be cry for the things in my world that need some tears, but isn't it hope that makes grief possible to endure?

The Psalmist David knew this tension better than anyone as we witness the emotional extremes he endured in the Psalms he wrote. Psalm 42 is not just a lament, but a call for God to be his hope, and David found the strength and courage to praise God, despite that he often felt forgotten by God. I find it interesting that in that same passage David acknowledged his need for the stream of living water only God could provide despite his desert wandering.

There is a certain death to self that brings life, but not without grieving what has been lost and diving into what David called, "deep calls to deep." I suppose it is God's mercy that makes it possible to enter grief and His hope that makes it possible to endure.

Perhaps grief and hope are both dwelling in my soul after all.

Psalm 42
¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
under the protection of the Mighty One
with shouts of joy and praise
among the festive throng.

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

*photo courtesy of: http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/hope-is-the-thing-necklace-P65C32.aspx

Weekend in the trees

Fall has descended upon Texas....and I love it!!

I spent the weekend out at camp, which I do every other weekend, and loved driving through the river (yes, we drive through the river) observing the change and vibrant colors of the leaves. It was fantastic. They were not quite as brilliant as the trees I walked through in my days at Gordon-Conwell up in the Boston area, but I'll take what I can get. Here's one photo our photographer took out there this weekend.


Doesn't it make you feel refreshed just looking at it? I walk away from camp every weekend feeling a little more like myself. It's a very good thing.

Weekend Update

Sometimes I wish I was as funny as Tiny Fey and as you read the title of this blog, you'd jump for joy at the coming sarcasm and jokes that make millions. Unfortunately, you'll have to settle for the literal interpretation and the non-SNL update....this is literally an update on my weekend.

But it gets even better. My college friend Rebecca, who I have the joy of sharing life with here in San Antonio (at least for this year), did a wonderful job cataloging our weekend away. We hit the road with her sweet husband, and went to Houston to visit one of his college friends and see that area of Texas for ourselves. Actually it was more like Seabrook and Galveston, but who's counting. She documented our weekend away with charm and gusto over at her blog that I think you should visit! Weekend update: here

Our trip was a Saturday to Sunday whirlwind but we had a great time! But if it was just a Saturday to Sunday trip you might be wondering what else I do with my time in my "minimally" employed state :). Thanks for asking. I'm a sign making machine! That's right....signs. Not the type of "signs" you find in the New Testament, the plain old wooden ones. I was inspired by some friends of mine, Andy and Tara Lowry. They have a ton of creative juices flowing through their home and I first copied one of their creations, the city sign, that Tara blogs about on her fabulous and insightful blog. Here's my take on the city sign:


Tara and Andy are also making these awesome "Family Rules" signs that you can order from them on Tara's blog. Just click on this word, "link", and go check it out. She's even giving one away, some with Christmas words on them. Go order one!!!

I'm not sure Tara and Andy should have showed me how to make these signs because now I'm coping their original idea and making all kinds of signs for friends and family. Here's the one I made for my soon-to-be niece's nursery:


Right now I'm in the process of making one for a friend as a Christmas present and making a small one that is going to be a fun little Christmas decoration just for me! Can't wait to post the final products! Maybe I should start selling these babies and call this my other part-time job because Lord knows they take awhile to make! :) Hope you all had a great weekend and are doing things you enjoy.

The Great Comforter

Last night, as I was laying in bed and saying some prayers I could hear the sound of the cars traveling along the highway a few miles away. It was not a sound that was unfamiliar, but one that brought me back to the upstairs room in one particularly comforting home.

Every Christmas growing up we went to Nanny and Pappaw's house on a sprawling 135 acre beef cattle farm, in what seemed like the "middle of nowhere" Kentucky. Despite Frankfort being the capitol city, this Seattle girl was far from her childhood suburb, but felt right at home in the open spaces and southern drawls. My sister and I shared one half of the upstairs, in two twin beds that Nanny had to buy once she found out we did less sleeping and more fighting in that full size bed. We'd lay in bed and fall asleep to the sounds of trucks along the highway, the only indication that a more bustling world was not far away. We would wake up to the smell of Nanny's biscuits, bacon, and sausage, and come down the stairs to find her dressed in that same blue "housecoat," with matching "houseshoes" shuffling along the wooden kitchen floors. She'd smile and say, "how's my girl? Sleep good?" and I'd be embraced with a hug and the warmth of the kitchen stove. The day would be spent exploring the pastures, jumping through hay bales, and maybe a horse ride or a trip into town. The smell of the cows is not hard for my brain to recall but the adventures along the creek that run through those fields, seems more vivid and breathing with life. Each evening spent in the den, watching TV and visiting, sitting with family and settling in.


Imagining that farm and that house was all it took for me to feel embraced and comforted last night. There is a reason God told the Israelites to remember His faithfulness with great repetition. He knew it would be hard for them to remember when the desert grew hot and nourishment was hard to find. He knew they would begin to question His goodness as they wandered to the land of the living. Somehow I imagine some of them needed a bit of comforting as they wandered, feeling lost, and uncertain that God's promises would become reality. In my own seasons of desert, I too forget that God's faithfulness is real and I do need His comforting and encouragement to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Gratefully, His mercies are new every morning and even if I cannot see His faithfulness or provision for me in the future or even in my present, I can see His goodness in my past and be comforted by memories in the past. Perhaps of the farm or grandparents who walk so closely with Jesus you feel a little more connected with Him after time with them. Nanny always said, "God is good, this I know for sure". Her words are spoken with tremendous life experience as she has seen her fair share of deserts and hard places. Her faith has seemingly not wavered but reminds me to let go and trust a God that comforts and provides.

2 Corinthians 1:2-7

² May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. ³ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. ⁴ He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. ⁵ For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. ⁶ Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. ⁷ We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

Come to Me

This morning I sat by the river in Boerne. It's grown muddy and dark with the reality of drought all around it. Dry and brittle trees, cracking soil, and ducks scavenging for any morsel of nourishment along the banks. My soul identifies with this river today. Discouragement wants to take precedence in my heart and challenge the quality of my thoughts. Satan speaks lies of insecurity, hopelessness, fear, and doubt. It's thinking about the future that often pulls me from Christ's presence in my present, doubting his faithfulness and struggling to trust that He does not withhold His best for me.


Passers by bring slices of bread for the ducks, hoping to sustain them just a little bit longer as they wait for the land to be nourished once more, and provide the life they need to remain. the Lord reminds me, He is the bread of life, my stubbornness stands hard to receive yet my heart asks for a soft and gentle spirit. There is a child that hands each crumb of crust to the ducks as they wait patiently and dance eagerly for their sweet bite. But if I were the duck in my demanding ways, I'd ask for the girl with the bread to come to me. Didn't Jesus say it's the other way around for the weary and brokenhearted?



Yet still, an older duck crosses my path, limping along to the bread nearly 50 ft away. This duck stops, turns, looks me in the eye as to say, "perseverance isn't about waiting for life to come to you, but to inch your way to it, tiny step by tiny step". Her age and wisdom tell her to move slowly and persistently to the bread, the bringer of life. She stops for a minute to recoup, but steps forward as long as it takes. There is purpose in her steps and motivation in her heart, knowing the nourishment is there if she just puts one foot in front of the other and opens her mouth to receive. And she arrives just in time for the smallest bit of bread, but somehow stands proud, more for the journey than for the small fulfillment of bread at the end of the road.

Lord, that my heart would stand proud of the journey and less consumed by the future promise. Give me a grateful heart that receives life along the way as I attempt to limp along as best I know how. Offer hope in the discouragement and trust despite the lies I hear. For you say to me this morning by the river,

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, Emily, you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28, 29 NLT)

Wait patiently for the LORD.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. (Psalm 27:14 NLT)

Showered!

Despite the challenges of moving, the emotions of transition and change, there is a great joy in living close to family. Especially when said family is expecting a new baby....their first one! I was blessed to be a part of showering the couple with exciting new things to fill their nursery and prepare them for the sweet baby girl, due Nov. 14 (unless she makes an early appearance, of course). A highlight of the shower for me was speaking with a few "seasoned" moms as they inquired about excitement in being a new Auntie Em. One shared the unique love and relationship Aunts get to have with their nieces and nephews, and I have to say bits and pieces of that are already being stirred in my heart. I did not expect to be so taken with a baby I have not been introduced to, but I'm finding myself more and more attached. Isn't it strange, and beautiful, that God stirs our hearts to love what He has created, without condition, just because He created it? I think I'm going to LOVE being an Auntie Em! Here's a little a poem I wrote to attach to a gift I made for the little one's nursery....

Oh the adventures we will have
Me and you
And teddy bear too

We’ll sing and dance
And play all day
Every game, just your way

Splashing in the water
Dreaming and making friends
Until, my niece, each day ends

You are loved so much
I can’t wait to be your Auntie
A special place in my heart
Is always saved for you my sweet niece

Here's a song you should listen to while looking at the photos from the shower...listen for the heartbeat at the beginning of the song. It's the song writer's daughter during an ultrasound...amazing!

Sarah's Austin friends pulled out all the stops for this shower...so fun to work with them and get to know them!

It's that time again...

For an update!!!!

I've been holding out on you all...mostly because moving and getting settled somewhere takes work! But enough of my excuses, here's what's up!

On August 22nd I moved into a cute little house not far from Main St. in Boerne, Tx. Boerne is a short distance from San Antonio and full of charm and character. Main St. is loaded with Antique shops, boutiques, restaurants, and a sweet river running through. Hello Norman Rockwell!
I am working with Laity Lodge Family Camp, which is a part of the H.E.B. Foundations for Laity Renewal. This foundation was started by the HEB grocery founder, Howard E. Butts. He wanted to establish a place along the Frio River that provided renewal for "laity" in the body of Christ that would also resource them to live their lives for Christ in the workplace, in home life, and to "transform their daily life". Not too shabby! I get to work every other weekend with families out on 1900 acres of land along the Frio River, tucked closely into a canyon. It's beautiful! (more on that to come) I do a great deal of programming, leading worship, making sure things are happening logistically, and supporting our staff of college students and other post-grads. Not to mention, learning how to shoot a rifle! Currently I'm out at the canyon part-time but it's been great fun!



I'm hoping to get back into the swing of blogging although it seems like I say that an awful lot and then duck out of it again. Now that I'm in a bit of a routine here, I think I can manage more frequent posts! :) I'm living about and hour and twenty minutes from my sister and my brother-in-law Spencer, and it has been so fun helping them prepare for their sweet baby girl who will be making an appearance in November. I'm sure she'll give me a great deal to talk about...and of course the delight in living near family again!

Thanks for checking in with me here and stay tuned for more!

Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows, Part 2

This is no Stephanie Platter movie critique, but it'll do! The three of us, Alicia, Laurie, and myself, shared Alicia's birthday dinner, grabbed our sweats and headed for the theater. We arrived about two hours early which gave us a decent amount of time to find a good seat and take in all the people watching we'll need for the year. With great anticipation, we waited for the film to start and a good showing of crazy Potter fans came out for the end of the epic saga. The film was filled with one liners from favorite Potter characters and just about every memorable character from the books made an appearance, both on screen and off screen in homemade costumes. The battle scenes were gripping with phenomenal artistry and moments that tugged on your every emotion. Spoiler alert: the story came to completion with Voldemort's demise, but not before Harry could learn the truth about his past and the honesty of Snape's heart. It was a story that was not far from stories that have been told for thousands of years. A hero's life sacrificed for the greater good, yet is resurrected to be the commoners rescuer. Sound familiar? Harry brings hope, compassion, even for his enemies, and the tried and true adage, "good overcomes evil" marches on. And for those of us loving a sappy ending, just like in the novel, we fast forward 19 years at the end of the flick to see our favorite characters and the lives they are living.

Now for the really good part....I was able to get some not so incognito pics of some people, only one of which I knew. There were some seriously Harry Potter invested people at this flick, which did not disappoint. Some even sobbed through particularly emotional parts of the movie...I, however, did not find a tear. Here are some pics I managed to snap from the iPhone, please dismiss their quality:

Harry Potter....trust me, the lightening bolt is on his forehead...and he's about 25..

This gal made a pretty sweet spray-paint/puffy paint shirt...it claims she's a "Hogwartian"

Her friend had a "death eater" shirt on...I'm pretty sure she made both...bless her heart

These dudes are donning their best interpretation of Dumbledore and his wizard friend...I think

And last but not least, a friend Bobby, dressed as Snape. He claimed he wasn't into it and was nervous we thought he looked like a girl. Right....

Potter fan or not, you'll love the movie and the completion of a story that's been unfolding for over a decade. But do me a favor and go when it's normal for people to be awake. That was way too late for this girl....who goes to bed by 11pm!

The End of an Era

The title makes it seem like this is going to be a sad and sentimental post...in some ways that is true, and in most ways it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Tonight I will be donning my sweatpants (sweat "capri's" for this Florida resident...too hot for the full length) and grabbing two friends to head to the last installment of the Harry Potter saga. That's right, the nerd inside me is trilled that the "Hallows: Part 2" has finally arrived and the we get to watch the story unfold. Although I spent a summer a couple years ago reading through the whole series, and I know how it is all going to end, I couldn't be more excited about watching the story come to a close on the big screen.


We'll get to see these fine characters capture some more horcruxes (sp?...only J.K. Rowling would know) and come to a place of peace when all is said and done for "the one who shall not be named." Anybody else excited?! Don't be shy, we can be Potter nerds together.

I imagine we'll run into several Potter enthusiasts tonight at the midnight showing and I'm secretly just as excited to see what kind of characters show up at the theater tonight, (spoiler alerts) as I am for Voldemort's days to be over. I'll be sure to come back with a recap on my experience staying up way past my bedtime to join the masses waiting anxiously to watch the final addition come to life on the screen. Stayed tuned.....


P.S. This photo is way too intense for those classes.....can I get a witness?

Peeling away my Dragon skin

Over the past seven months I've been on a spiritual retreat of sorts. Although I've lived at home and visited family and friends in different places, I've been somewhat secluded in my days, seeking the Lord, and growing ever dependent on Him. His voice is the one I've been attempting to train my ear to hear and His presence has been more tangibly sought in my life over the past seven months. Leave it to the Lord to make it abundantly clear when He desires for you to sit still and deal with the matters of your heart that need to be changed by Him.

Last week I watched the newest flick that has come to DVD from the Narnia series, "Voyage of the Dawn Treader." I've have read the book several times but was struck by an image that was created from the words of the novel. Eustace, a boy turned into a dragon so that his outward appearance would match the condition of his heart, was being re-shaped and changed by the lion Aslan. Aslan had been changing his heart and as Eustace's soul changed, it became necessary for him to no longer be a dragon externally. The picture is of Aslan, with his paws, peeling away the scales of Eustace's dragon skin that he couldn't peel away for himself. It is obvious that this is a painful process for Eustace, but Aslan stands close, with great warm light, doing the work of peeling back his scales for him and presenting him with a refreshing bath and new clothes.


I love this picture because I think it's true of what our sanctification process ought to look like and I often need reminding how little of it I can do for myself. Like Eustace, I find the sinful places in me, and instead of simply offering them to the Lord, I try to fix them unfortunately growing for myself a covering of scaly skin on my heart. My pride sometimes thinks it's my responsibility to be make myself clean and new before the Lord. All along, Christ stands with the work already done on the cross and a new set of clothes for me to put on.

Matthew 11:28-30 says: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."


If you are weary and feel like a dragon in your own skin, you have nothing to do but to embrace Christ's "yoke" of love and be burden by His grace to find rest and new life. This has become such a helpful truth in sitting in a season that could reek with anxiety (and has in some respects), anger, and frustration. Sitting in Christ's love, receiving His grace has offered new life. I am His and that's enough. Who knew that would be so hard to learn?

Jury Just in...

I have been watching way too much of the Casey Anthony trial...hence the language used in the title. I swear I will recover and return to normal language in my communication...I swear I'm telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Anyway, the test results are in!! I get to have a NIECE!!!!! Looks like my sister's dreams are coming true with little pink ballet slippers, cute outfits, and fancy dresses to come (although she'd be happy with whatever sex the baby is as long as it's healthy). We're all excited that the baby is looking healthy and growing well in her Mama's belly! I wonder what I'll buy first for this little cutie:

OR

Ran for Her Life

This past weekend I had the privilege of participating in an awesome event for an incredible cause. I took it upon myself to train for a 5K, with the help of a spectacular correspondence trainer Angie Gooding. Check her out here...seriously, you'll be better for it! She's an awesome trainer and an even more awesome person. I'll tell you more about her later. So, I trained for this 5K because I've tried to sign up for races and complete them in the past and something has always stood in the way of me completing them...mostly my knees. However, this past weekend it all came together.



Samaritan Village, a transitional home for women with the desire to walk away from addiction and street life, hosted "Run for Her Life 5K"...catchy title, I know. This was an event to raise awareness of the many needs in our community, particularly that of women who need some support and help getting on their feet. Consequently, I ran for her life, the woman who cannot run for herself, or even speak for herself and the help she might need. I was reminded as I ran of the blazing Florida heat at 7:30am, but more importantly of the privileges I have been given throughout life. I was blessed with a good upbringing, parents who love me unconditionally, and resources that a majority of the world does not even see. Knowing what this race was all about made it so much easier to endure the humid Florida summer morning and run for the sake of someone else, not just my own physique. Check out their website here if you'd like to know more about Samaritan Village or how you can help in prayer and participation.

Hilton Head Island, SC

Last weekend I had the great pleasure of getting together with a dear friend from college. Lauren met me at her in-laws in Hilton Head Island, SC, totting her precious 1-year old son. It was such a gift to be able to spend such quality time together and share the beauty and fun of Hilton Head Island and Savannah, GA while Lauren's in-laws were gracious to watch the little cherub. Of course, the sweet little muffin boy was great fun and a delight to get to know. He'll be walking soon which was so exciting to watch. It's amazing to me how God can bring friends into our lives that remain life-long encouragers, blessings, and so much fun to be with no matter how far apart we now live...Lauren is one of those people. I'm blessed to have a few! :) If you'd like to hear more from her life, she's got a great blog over here...check it out! Thought you all might want to see some photos of the weekend. If you'd like to see more, head to my FB page.

Lauren and I sharing a wonderful dinner (I later got a little minor case of food poisoning from that lovely fish, but it didn't last long!)

The sweet boy....who could argue with that face!

South beach marina on Hilton Head Island

Pretty church, surrounded by big Oak trees and droopy Spanish moss...love the look of the South!

Lauren and her boy

Don't Mess With Texas

I started this blog in anticipation of journeying along with those of you who are interested in what goes on in my life, whether fascinating or not! :) I posted a few weeks ago about MY plan for what's next. Go to the University of Central Florida, get another Master's degree, and look for ministry positions as I went. However, MY plans are rarely God's plans until I let go and watch His mastery unfold. This season of my life is no exception. After posting about Tim Keller's Book, "The Prodigal Son" and it's impact on me being reminded to "let go" and get "off the throne" of my own life, God moved in a mighty way. Here's the update....I would apologize for it's length, but I'm wordy, so good luck!

A couple of weeks ago a good friend Angie, from seminary, contacted me about some ministry opportunities that might be available within the foundation where she serves as a director of the youth camp. The Foundation for Laity Renewal, offices located in Kerrville, Texas (about 45 min. from San Antonio) was founded by grocery store founder H.E. Butts (laughter welcome) :). He started the foundation in an effort to offer a place for all kinds of people to go to a beautiful location and experience spiritual renewal outside of the day to day chaos. He bought about 2000 acres of land along the River Frio with a great canyon. The foundation has several camps and elements of ministry that it offers. Angie works with the youth camps that host camp mainly in the summer months. However, there is a new 8 million dollar facility being built in the canyon for the family camp. That is where I come in. The family camp has been running for about 4 years now (if I remember correctly) and this new facility is going to expand it's growing potential. There will be two full time positions opening up there in the next year. In the meantime, there is a part time opportunity that I interviewed for last week to support the family camp, assisting the director, leading worship, teaching, and working with the college students that come out to work the family camps. I was offered the part time position last week and my friend Angie even has an affordable living option for me in Boerne, not far from the camp offices. I accepted the job and will be starting Labor Day weekend. Family camp runs select weekends throughout the year with a few week-long camps a couple times a year. I plan to do this part time and may even be used in a few other capacities in different parts of the foundation to fill in the gaps. What's really cool about the family camp is that they offer weekends/weeks at camp for low-income families, wounded military families, and a variety of folks from different walks of life. It's really incredible to me that a camp is able to do so much for all kinds of families.



I am still considering another master's program but I could do that easily part time at the University of Texas, San Antonio, 15 minutes from where I will be living. Time will tell as I'm taking one step at a time with the Lord. I am really excited about this opportunity and the potential that it offers. I won't be able to interview for the full time positions until next Spring but the more I'm connected to the camp in the meantime, the better. Plus, I'm really looking forward to being in the great outdoors more consistently and using the gifts God has given me in many different ways. It is going to be great to live close to my sister and Spencer (1.5 hrs. away), especially as they anticipate the birth of their first little one this fall...yay!! It does feel bittersweet to move again and have to transition once more, especially on my own. I have bounced around the country, mostly for education, and it is just getting tiresome to build relationships and then to leave again. It is with sadness that I leave friends in Florida, but I am looking forward to living closer to family once again.

God has taught me a great deal at each stop so far, maybe enough to write a book someday ;). Moving from place to place is beginning to get old but I know that I will not be truly Home until all is said and done on this earth. In meantime, isn't it an adventure to experience so many places and spaces of this world? That's how I feel today....ask me in a month when I'm packing boxes to move in August!